How to End a Relationship in the New Age
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Breaking up is hard to do. Sometimes! This article is about how to end a relationship in which you are romantically involved. .
There are a number of things to take into consideration when deciding on how to end a relationship. First, you need to be familiar with the type of person you are dealing with. If you ended things with this person, do you have an idea as to how they would act in response to the break up? Will they bring drama in your life, become a stalker, or make statements about doing bodily harm to themselves? The length of time you have dated this person also plays a role in your break-up strategy because the longer you’ve dated, the more difficult the decision can be. Here are a couple of ways on how to end a relationship:
# 1 The Direct/Honest Approach – This is where you, the heartbreaker, are brutally honest and tell them straight up; “Look, things are not working out between us and I think we need to go our separate ways.” In response to this approach, the broken hearted may want an explanation of when, what, where, why, and how this happened. They may bargain with you telling you that they are willing to do whatever it takes to make the relationship work because they do not want it to end. Most heart breakers who utilize this approach are pretty much done with this person and want them out of their lives for good. Some will not except nor pay attention to all of the whining and bargaining because they already have it made up in their minds that this is what they want.
# 2 The Flip the Script Approach – This is where you, the heartbreaker, flip the script and stop doing all of the things that kept the other person happy in your relationship. After you and the brokenhearted have had multiple discussions about how they are no longer happy with your performance in the relationship, they then say “Look, things are not working out between us and I think we need to go our separate ways.” The outcome of this approach sets you free without you being the one to blame for ending the relationship and you get what you want. Most heart breakers who utilize this approach do not want to deal with the emotional aspect of things. As a result, they make the brokenhearted feel as though they are in control of the situation not realizing that they are the actual victim.
# 3 The Blame it on Me Approach – This is where you, the heartbreaker, tell the brokenhearted that “It’s not you, it’s me. I am not where I want to be in my life and I want to spend time by myself to figure things out. I love you but, being in a relationship is a distraction and I need some time to focus on me.” I have found this to be the most common way to end a relationship to date.
# 4 The Coward Approach – This is where you, the heart breaker, just disappear! You do not return phone calls, no explanation of what is going on or anything. Most heart breakers who utilize this approach lack the courage to end a relationship with a person in fear of a possible reaction; be it emotional or physical. Whatever your reasons are for not being honest about your feelings or even talking about the relationship ending; this is definitely a punk out move.
# 5 The Friend From a Distance Approach – This is where you, the heartbreaker, let them down in phases; killing them with kindness along the way. You begin with “I need space, I feel like you are smothering me and I need time to myself to think.” You set a time frame and after that time goes by, you ease in with “I think we should just be friends. I am not really ready to be truly committed.” (This is where you slide in Approach #3) In between phases, you still accept their phone calls and always appear to be nice and friendly to them. In response to this approach, the broken hearted may ask you to hang out with them from time to time. Kindly refuse, letting them know you have prior engagements. At this point, you can ease into Approach #4, preparing your disappearing act or remain friends with them; your choice. In turn, the broken hearted will eventually get over you and start seeing other people. This approach works very well with people who are very clingy. You cannot end a relationship with them abruptly! It could cause potential problems in the future.
In conclusion, use the approach that will get your most wanted response. Be careful with numbers 1 and 4. A sudden harsh movement may create drama or a stalker. Also, take into consideration your approach and ask yourself, “Would I want someone to do this to me.”
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Rinatta Paries, Relationship Coach
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