How to Figure Out What You Really Want in Life

Five Critical Exercises to Help You Figure Out What You Really Want in Life

"Life is not a matter of chance...it is a matter of choice. " — Ka

It is often very comfortable for people to just go with the flow in life, career, and relationships - just simply let someone else take charge, make decisions, provide guidance, and literally do all the hard work of thinking and planning. But is that really all there’s in life for you? Is this going to lead you to the destination you’d like to end up at? Do you know what you want and do you pursue it, or do you live simply on auto-pilot? Let me help you figure out what you really want in each area of your life.

Exercise One. What is your ideal future? One week from now? A month from now? A year, five and ten years from today? Where would you like to end up in your life?

The Old You Exercise.

Imagine yourself being ninety-eight years old. You are sitting in a rocking chair in a quiet room and thinking about the life you’ve lived to this day. You look back and realize that you had a very good life, and it gives you a feeling of fulfillment. You have no regrets and think to yourself: “If I had to do it again, I wouldn’t change anything in my wonderful life.” Now, get a pen and some paper and write down the definition and the details of that “very good life” you were just thinking about.

Exercise Two. During my workshops, I usually offer the exercise that activates the mindset of happiness. Here’s what I recommend to do.

The Happiest Day in Your Life.

Get a pen and a piece of paper and describe in all the details what the happiest day in your life would look like. Where would it be? Whom would it be with? What would the circumstances be? What would your health conditions be? What would you be wearing, saying, and doing? Just let your imagination flow freely! Once you’re done, you should have some breakthrough ideas about what you really want and what matters most to you in life.

Exercise Three. It is also highly desirable that you go through the simple questionnaire below and rate each statement on a scale from one to ten.

The Ten Essential Statements that Help You Discover Yourself.

• I am satisfied with myself
• I am happy with the way I look
• I am pleased with my relationships
• I am open to and acceptive of constructive criticism
• I am positive and persistent when times get tough
• I am excited about the successes of other people
• I am fine asking for help or an advice
• I am open-minded and adaptable to change
• I am delighted to meet new people and make connections
• I am aware of myself and guided by my own goals, standards, and values

How many statements got a ten from you? This exercise should have helped you discover what it is that you really want and need to work toward.

Exercise Four. All the best ideas come and go very quickly, and that is the reason why I always recommend to do all exercises with a pen and paper in hand. This time you will write a letter to your very own but much younger self.

The Young You Exercise.

Write a letter to your younger self (choose the age at which you were the most aspiring and had ambitious expectations of life). Explain to that young person how you have gotten to where you are at right now. Describe what has been motivating and what has been discouraging you. Reveal the details of what you’ve done with the dreams and desires of that young you. Expound where you’re going now and where you see yourself ending up. How does it feel to that young and inspired you to hear what you’re saying on paper now?

After this exercise you should be able to say without a doubt what it is that you really want in life.

Exercise Five. If you want more exercises to assist you, please continue with the one below.

The Five Essential Questions that Lead You to Self-Discovery.

• What kind of a person are you? Just go ahead and describe yourself as “tall”, “smart”, “kind”, “procrastinator”, “complainer”, “lazy”, “independent”, “compassionate”, and so on.

• What do you value most? Be honest! Is it “beer and TV”, “money and career”, “family and children”, “freedom and flexibility”, or what is it, really?

• What would you like to be remembered for? Get it out, be true to yourself! Is it “crazy hair and funny jokes”, “always perfect attire and strong work ethic”, “skinny waist and healthy eating habits”, “volunteering and making a difference in the community”, or ...?

- What are the three adjectives you’d like people to use when describing you? If you experience any difficulties finding the right words, you may want to research a list of positive and negative adjectives to help you express yourself.
What positive difference have you made or plan to make? Examples here may include “helped a friend to stop smoking”, “volunteered at a non-profit”, “participated in a fundraiser for a meaningful cause”, “donated blood to a blood bank”, “helped a sick neighbor walk the dog”, “inspired someone to go back to school”, and the like.

It has always interested me how some people know what they want from a very early age while others can never figure it out. Hopefully, having completed all the five exercises you will know exactly what you want at this point.