How to Get What You Really Want? – Stop Needing to Have It!

The spiritual principle of Non-attachment states, that for you to obtain anything at all you must first give up your attachment to it, or need for it. In other words, you must drop your attachment to the outcome. There is also a second aspect to non-attachment, which is that in order to fully enjoy something or someone that is already in your life, you have to drop your attachment to it/them as well.

This principle tends to be more difficult for people in Western countries to accept, since many have been conditioned to embrace the 'make it happen' approach to life. Namely, using the sheer force of will to ensure that desires are fulfilled, and then fighting to hold on to whatever was acquired. Non-attachment, however, is about learning to trust in your real Self (i.e., your Higher Self), about going with the flow of life rather than trying to row your boat upstream. It is also about tapping into the power of the God-Force to attract literally anything you desire, and likewise it's about leaving behind the need to cling to what you already have.

Now if you are like most people in Western culture, it is likely that the idea of being detached and going with the flow wasn't part of your socialization process. So, to better understand non-attachment, let us take a moment to clarify what the term attachment actually means. To paraphrase Fr. Anthony DeMello, simply put, an attachment is an emotional state of clinging, caused by the notion that without some particular thing, person, affiliation, idea, belief or outcome, you cannot be happy.
There are, in fact, two key problems with having attachments to people, things, and outcomes. First, if the object of a given attachment cannot be obtained, the result is unhappiness and perhaps downright misery for some folks. Second, even if one is able to obtain whatever or whoever to which they are attached, the result is not long-lasting happiness, but rather some fleeting amount of satisfaction followed by anxiety about losing it or them. Think about this for a moment: how many times in your life have you been motivated by a strong desire to have something or someone, or to achieve something, and then once your desire was satisfied, your conce
shifted toward holding on to whatever it was?
The reality is that "fear and insecurity" lie at the foundation of all material attachments. The need for security in particular is caused by the failure to remember who we really are:'sparks of the Divine' that possess unlimited creative power. The true source of wealth, or anything else in the physical world is the pure consciousness underlying all form; the field of pure potentiality discussed in Chapter 7 of my book "Spirituality Simplified." The truth is attachment to anything at all in the world of form is an outward expression of a scarcity consciousness that resides within us. When we cling to things, what we effectively do is cut ourselves off from a whole range of other possibilities.

(The preceding article is an adapted excerpt from Spirituality Simplified, Copyright 2002, by Jeff Maziarek.)