How to Know if He's Interested

Here's an e-mail I received from a reader:

Dear Cherry,

I want to share this with you. I attend regular church events so this year I started to look at the men in church.

There's one guy I decided to practice your flirting technique on. Well, I smiled and got no response. He wouldn't even look at me. Then one night I walked next to him thinking he might look my way and say "hello". But he didn't. I had never seen him with a woman. He's always alone. So I thought he was just shy.

Last Sunday when I was selling baked goods, he walked in. Next thing I saw was a woman taking his arm.

As you say, it is so true when a man does not talk to you there are reasons.

C.S. in Califo
ia

So how can you tell if he's REALLY interested in meeting you?

1. Signal Him By Smiling for 5 Seconds

Three seconds is polite. Four is not enough. Five gets attention.

Yes, it's terrifying. Yes, you feel like you're inviting him to molest you on the spot. Yes, your armpits are sweating and your lip gets stuck on your tooth...but do it anyway.

A man needs to know you're interested before he feels safe enough to approach. Men who approach you without being signaled are usually drunks or nerds.

A man who walks across a room to speak to you after you've signaled him with a smile is DEFINITELY interested!

2. Don't Speak First

If you see a man you're interested in NEVER speak first (unless you want to pick him up, invite him out and pay for it.) (There's nothing wrong with that...just be conscious.)

If you speak to a man first, not only does it set you up to pursue him...you don't know if he's REALLY interested in you or just being polite.

I know of a woman who met a man in a coffee shop. She approached him and said, "I don't know if you're married or not, but I think you're cute."

They began seeing each other and after a couple months, she found out he was indeed married.

When she questioned him, he said, "You told me when we met you didn't care if I were married."

Oooops! Imagine her surprise.

3. Don't Take Rejection Personally

Sometimes you smile (or drop a handkerchief or trip him) and he just ignores you.

When this happens, don't take it personally. It's true that he may not find you attractive...but it could be because he's not available.

Maybe he's married. Maybe he's gay. Whatever.

Move on. Brush yourself off and smile at the next man you find appealing.