I Used To Be Happy -- What Happened?

Becoming Aware!

I talk with a lot of people who say they are tired of living the way they’re feeling now. I often ask, “What are you feeling now?”

The some common answers I get are:
• “I’m not exactly sure what I’m feeling. I just know I’m frustrated and disappointed with the people in my life.”
• “I’m very angry because I go out of my way to help my siblings and friends and they don’t appreciate me.”
• “I’m feeling more alone married now than when I was single.”

Next I ask, “How long have you been feeling like that?”
• “It has been going on for the longest time, but I don’t know exactly when I started feeling this way.”
• “It seems like a lifetime, and I don’t even know how this happened. I used to be very happy!”

A lot of people are curious. They want to know how I achieved living a happy, fulfilled and successful life.

My short answer to that question is that I needed to first become aware, and I needed to focus on me for a change and realize where I needed change. I needed to be aware and present. With awareness comes opportunity… With opportunity comes change!

Let me share a little about my story around awareness. My journey to happiness never would have happened if it weren’t for awareness.

Most of my life I was happy, but gradually something happened.

Years ago when I was in my mid-twenties, many things in my life were going well. I had gotten married; I was deeply in love; we had two wonderful kids; we bought a home; I had a good job; and, we had great friends. When all that was going on I felt that life was great! I didn’t know it at the time, but I put my life on cruise control because everything was going so well. Why change a good thing?

Like most people, I kept doing what I was used to day in and day out. I was going through life without being present to what was really going on. Like so many people, I had learned to say “Yes” to the many things I should have said “No” to. I had also dishonored my values in the process. Another huge thing that happened is that with all the exte
al happiness around me, I had completely forgotten that happiness comes from within.

I started blaming the many people in my life when I wasn’t happy. As time went on, the less happy I became. The less happy I was, the more angry and frustrated I became. I lost many sleepless nights thinking about how upset I was.

Then I had a pivotal moment. I was 49 years old and I blurted out to myself and the world, “I’m not going to live the second half of my life feeling the way I do now!” I added, “From now on I am going to be responsible for making myself happy.” And then I added, “From now on I’m going to bring a bigger and better person to any relationship I enter.”

That was the start of my journey – the journey that took me from Frustration to Happiness and to Fulfillment.