If You Are Unhappy About Your Relationship (or Lack of) - Learn How to Develop a Satisfying One!
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ARE YOU UNHAPPY WITH YOUR INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP?
If you are unhappy in your relationship – or with your failed attempts at finding a partner – “use” it to figure out what it takes to develop a successful relationship. Your unhappiness, as much as it is an awful feeling, can serve as a turning point in your future success at relationships. If you “use” it to your advantage it can enable you understand how to go about developing a successful intimacy.
THE “ADVANTAGE” OF BEING UNHAPPY
It might sound like a paradox, but there is an “advantage” for being unhappy about your relationship (or lack of): you might become motivated – for the first time ever - to learn what it takes to develop a satisfying intimacy, what you might have done wrong until now, and how to change.
It might sound like a paradox, but being unhappy and dissatisfied is a driving force, which can motivate you to look for ways to become happier. Therefore, instead of crying over your feeling of unhappiness and letting some depression engulf you, “take advantage” of your unhappiness by embarking on the road to success:
* Ask yourself what it will take for you to become happy;
* What avenues might be there that you haven’t pursued before.
FEELING UNHAPPY MIGHT DRIVE YOU TO UNDERSTAND THE REASONS FOR YOUR FAILURES
“Taking advantage” of your unhappiness might motivate you – maybe for the first time ever – to:
* Get a grip on what is it that you do that inhibits you from developing a satisfying relationship;
* Get up the courage to look inwards and realize whether there are any ways in which you shoot yourself in the foot;
* Become willing to take responsibility for your failures rather than to blame others.
BY UNDERSTANDING YOURSELF BETTER YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE – ONLY TO GAIN!
Taking up the steps to understand how you might have sabotaged your attempts at relationships until now is a sure way to improve your ability to develop a satisfying bond. You will understand:
* What might have stood in your way until now;
* What might have exerted power over you;
* What might have led you to react and behave in ways which harmed your attempts. Were these:
-Your fears and needs?
- Your false expectations?
- Your unrealistic fantasies?
- Your flawed belief-system about partners and relationships?
Having gained this understanding you will become able to neutralize the power all these have had over you, and make the necessary changes required to develop and maintain a successful, satisfying and healthy relationship.
MOVING FROM FEELING UNHAPPY TO A SATISFYING RELATIONSHIP
If you have felt unhappy about your ability to have a satisfying relationship until now due to failing over and over again, it means: you haven’t taken the time, until now, to understand what stands in your way. It is very likely that it were YOU who stood in your way, without you even knowing it!
Taking the time to look inwards, understanding yourself better and getting a grip on the ways in which you might have stood in your way from developing a satisfying intimacy is therefore the way to go. It means, “Taking advantage” of the situation in order to move from feeling unhappy to developing a satisfying relationship.
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About the Author
Doron Gil, Ph.D., is a Self-Awareness and Relationships Expert, with 30 year experience as a university teacher, workshop leader, counsellor and consultant. Dr. Gil has taught thousands of students, wrote numerous articles on the subject and the author of: "The Self-Awareness Guide to a Successful Intimate Relationship”: http://amzn.to/eAmMmH
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