Imagine..a Better Way to Communicate With Your Spouse and Save Your Marriage

Is your marriage crumbling apart? Are you and your spouse headed for divorce? A lot of marriage issues are due to the fact that many couples have a lack of communication skills. Yelling at your partner to clean up after themselves from across the room is NOT an appropriate way to communicate with your spouse. Calling your spouse and accusing him of not loving you anymore because he never takes you out is NOT a form of resourceful communication. Communication how you communicate your feelings, needs and wants in a respectful, loving and mature way.

First things first, you and your spouse need to take a moment and talk about how your marriage needs some work. The way you guys communicate to each other needs to change. At one point in the relationship, you guys would never have ever dreamed of treating each other the way you guys talk to each other now. I don't know what your current situation is, but if your marriage is falling apart because of how you guys talk (or don't talk) to each other, this needs to change.

"I" Statements Vs. "You" Statements

When saying something to your spouse that could illicit a fight, I highly suggest using "I" statements rather that "You" statements. "You" statements are debatable and can easily make your spouse feel they need to defend themselves. If you use "I" statements, it's a lot harder for your spouse to disagree with how YOU FEEL. They will evaluate what they did to make you feel this way and think of more resourceful ways he or she could have put it. For example "I feel as if I do all the house work around here" will go over better tha
"You never help clean the house." See the difference there? Just by changing how you address problems could really help how you and your spouse communicate.

Timeout For Yourself

If your in a heated argument, it's always best to take a walk or a breather before you guys continue. This way, when you guys do talk about the problem, all that anger can dissipate and prevent you from saying hurtful and irrational things. So many arguments that do escalate to a full blown shouting match could make you both feel worse before the fight even began. Knowing when to take a break and cool off before you say anything else can really prevent words that will be impossible to take back from coming out of your mouth.

Take Turns to Speak

What you can do is to allow each other to have a conversation without interrupting each other. If you interrupt your spouse when they are talking, it simple means that what you have to say is more important that what your spouse is saying. There are many people have this bad habit when they are talking. This is very rude and disrespectful. One of the good tip to know in saving marriage is allowing each other to speak and be heard. What you can do is stop yourself when you are about to do it. This will take a lot of practice to get this right.

Understand You Can't Control Their Feelings or Opinions

Most arguments happens because each person is trying to convince the other that they are right. Really listen to your spouse and try to understand where they are coming from.

Accept the reality that you and your spouse won't always agree on anything. There are no two people that no matter how in love they are with each other can always agree on anything. When you accept this sooner in your marriage, you can have more productive fights instead of damaging ones. This can also show that you give respect to your spouse because you allowed your spouse to have a personal opinion. This means that you recognize your spouse as a separate person that can have their own unique perspective.

Ultimatums=Death of a Marriage

The last advice that you can have for a save marriage advice when having a difficult conversation is avoiding the all-or-nothing kinds of statements. If you start using extreme words like never or always then you are just getting yourself into hot water. You and your spouse can save a lot from grief if you remember that there a lot at stake in between those extreme words.