In Control - Out of Control

Are you in control? Well let’s see… Are you trying to figure out what to do regarding bills, relationships, security, or something else? Are you irritable? Are you at your perfect weight? Are you in good health? Are you frustrated in some way? Are you sleeping peacefully at night? If you aren’t in good health, at your perfect weight, or sleeping peacefully, these are indications that you may be are out of control.

Being out of control, about anything, interferes with our ability to be at peace; to be healthy; and to have healthy relationships. Ask yourself, “Does it feel good to yell, scream, argue, or stomp out of a room?” Does it feel good to repeat these types of dramas, by replaying each and every incident that occurred to anyone that will listen? Of course not… By telling others or repeatedly keep re-telling ourselves negative stories, is only reinforcing unconstructive patterns. Venting our frustration has a tendency to work us up again, and again. Then, our venting typically leaves us feeling guilty and empty because we didn’t resolve a thing. All we did by venting was to avoid taking responsibility of how we created the circumstances that we are currently experiencing.

In order to get different results, we need to apply a different approach. If we always do, what we’ve always done, we’re going to keep getting the same results. The results, quite simply, are more frustration and continuously being out of control. Being out of control has a lot to do with AGFLAP (Apathy, Grief, Fear, Lust, Anger, and Pride). When any of these emotions are active, we are not in control. We also have many thoughts such as “I can’t change…” because of what is playing in the background of our minds that also causes us to feel out of control. Each “I can’t!” thought usually keeps us stuck for a very long time. The business of “I can’t” keeps us from taking positive action. Fear also keeps us repeating the same unhealthy patterns. If we think we can, “We will! And, if we think “I can’t,” we won’t do anything in relation to moving forward. “I can” is positive and “I can’t” is negative.

When we are out-of-control, instead of creating loving and peaceful relationships at home and in our business communities, we are unknowingly creating relationships that are engulfed in the realm of AGFLAP. We think people can read our minds… and that others should know what we want and need. And the folks in our lives have these same thoughts believing that we know, or should know, what they want and need. See for yourself if family members and/or business associates believe you should know what they want.

In order for us to have successful relationships, we need to be able to be in control, in order to communicate effectively with each other. Effective communication and successful relationships first begins with communicating our needs and wants to our self. As we identify what we would like to experience in our life, we can then move towards achieving better results in the areas of our life that we would like to change. By taking responsibility for our behaviors, we can begin to change our negative patterns at their root source. We can, therefore, overcome situations when acting out of control as we’ll begin to see that we are creating those circumstances based on what we are holding in mind.

We can experience peacefulness and train ourselves to be in control at all times. When we are in control of our emotions, we are projecting ourselves in a loving and respectful manner which allows us to experience more enjoyable outcomes. The only way to change our negative or limited patterns is to be able to see them for our self. Life is a decision! Be willing to make a decision to be in control. Also make a decision to begin doing things that will help you to feel better about yourself. Most certainly, make a decision to be done with holding onto negative patterns. Realistically no one, other than you, can make changes in your life! Remember you always have choices. Decide to be in control at all times. Also be willing to include positive intentions for everything you do. Your positive intentions will help you to feel better and also help you to experience improved outcomes more of the time.