Is there a Correlation betwee Being a Successful Professional Woman to Having a Successful Intimate Relationship?

Women seem to be more emancipated than ever before. Many of them have well-paying jobs, highly-respected positions and credentials, and can support themselves financially. All these empower them to go on dates feeling good about themselves and acquire the “expertise” necessary to determine which men are most appropriate for them. In addition, they are more knowledgeable about relationships, being surrounded with endless women’s magazines and books about relationships. It is believed that, at least when it comes to reading about relationships, attending relationship workshops and seeking relationship counselling, women are far ahead than men. But does it all say that women succeed these days in their relationships better than before? Does it mean they do know how to “screen” their dates better than ever? Or that they feel better about being by themselves, rather than falling into relationships and men which are not good for them – just in order to escape being alone? Not necessarily so. Many factors apparently play a role in one’s attitudes and behaviors towards partners and relationships. Knowledge and “expertise” are apparently not sufficient. Messages women have received throughout their lives about love and intimacy; their perception of “what does it say about you” if you are alone – all these and other factors affect their dating habits and interactions with men. In addition, professionalism, a high-status position and a highly-paying job do not guarantee that issues related to low self-esteem and/or unhealthy relations with a domineering mother (for example) will evaporate into non-existence. Such issues often last for ages and exert their power on the women’s attitudes and behaviors with their partners. Being a “powerful woman” with respect to a highly-paid position doesn’t by itself mean that the woman has freed herself from whatever fears and needs she might be walking around with (such as: fear of being alone; fear of being rejected; neediness to be loved and to be in a relationship at all costs, all of which might drive her to date whoever shows interest in her, disrespectful of whether the man is a good match or not). Some of the dating sites which are rampant these days target themselves towards the “highly successful woman”. They characterize such a woman as one who knows what kind of a man she wants: a successful one, who has a nice income. Yet, he should also be a person with whom she can talk about emotions; a person who knows how to listen and how to express himself. One she can count on when she needs to. As much as such a “profile” of a man is highly desirable, and as much as such dating sites claim to enlist such men to their site, is it really so that today’s professional women can indeed select out of such dating sites men who are a good match for them? Does it mean that the intimacy they will develop with their dates will be the intimacy they dream about? There is no clear-cut answer. It all depends on individual stories. But one thing is clear: being a highly-successful professional woman who is enrolled in a highly-selective dating site is no guarantee that she will, eventually, find an appropriate match. And it doesn’t mean that when she chooses a man to start a relationship with (or is being chosen by someone), that she will have the skills and the personal qualities which will enable her to develop and maintain a successful and satisfying intimacy. So what does it take to be able to develop such a relationship? Knowledge, expertise and professionalism might help a person gain socially-respected status. But this, by itself, doesn’t guarantee success with relationships. Such success is related to a totally different arena: to one’s awareness of the ways in which she sabotages her relationships; to acknowledging being driven by a host of factors which exert power over her attitudes, reactions and behaviors in a relationship; to getting up the courage to take responsibility for her failed attempts at relationships and become motivated to make the necessary changes. All these imply a readiness to take some time off from her busy professional life to look inwards and contemplate which steps she needs to pursue in order to finally find and develop a healthy and satisfying intimacy.