It Sucks When Nice Guys Finish Last

“Nice guys finish last” I’m sure many shy men can relate with this statement. I’ve seen over the years that shy men have an air of “I’ll always be nice no matter what.” They are easily forgiving of others regardless of what the situation is. Overly NICE guys also tend to remember things others did even though on the outside he’s forgiving about it; and these incidents just keep piling up more and more. After reflecting on the question of “Why are they so nice even after being pushed around?” I realized it came down to one factor. That behavior comes from FEAR. And here’s what really makes nice guys finish last… When others are disapproving of us we feel the need to be even NICER just so we don’t lose whatever is left of their approval. This is the wrong way to go and the results are quite the opposite. They can see you’ll do whatever it takes to hold on to acceptance and approval and they’ll keep as much of it away as possible. This is so you continue going the extra mile for whatever is left. It leaves you feeling exhausted, tired and sometimes confused as to why your efforts seldom get you lasting results. Once upon a time that was ME, back when I didn’t have a clue. The solution is to do the exact opposite. When others do something towards you that you don’t like make sure to show your displeasure towards it. Make YOUR attention and approval more scarce and therefore more valuable. When it comes to treading over your personal time, property and your self-respect have less tolerance over others who have little or no respect towards you. But don’t do it in a way where you lose composure. If someone always flakes on you when you’re supposed to meet just cut them away, stop talking to them, stop. Months later they’ll ask why you guys lost in touch (usually that’s when things aren’t going well for them and you come to mind as their last resort). I do have to throw in a word of caution. It’s important to keep in mind that you want to be respectful and polite to others. Often times I see people going from overly nice to bitter mean. The point is to be the better person right? Of course it is. Here’s something else you can do. Now that you know how to carry yourself in interactions I want you to meet with the same people and practice in small steps. Become aware of the instances where you really did find the actions of another unacceptable. Maybe it was someone who stood you up, or maybe someone who is making jokes at your expense. Tell them “That wasn’t cool”. It won’t be easy at first speaking up if it’s something you’re not used to. But as you practice more and more you’ll get used to it like a steam locomotive picking up speed. Eventually you’ll get to a point where you notice yourself having more personal power and influence when interacting with people To Continue Learning More About This Article Follow This Link: More on shyness from this author.