Its Never Too Late

It's Never Too Late

Are you held back by a “what if?” What if I disappoint? What if I don't, what if I do? If I were to wake up and start a new journey, no longer avoiding the fear of what if, how would my life change? Am I ready for change and is it too late for me to change?

A what if leads you to something – a leap of faith where the outcome is unknown. I took this leap of faith. It wouldn't be considered faith if there weren't some kind of fear to overcome, I guess you can say life gives you many tests. Well; I have a fear of any test! However, I know there was more to living life then what I was living, so scared out of my mind at the age of thirty, I tried to get my drivers license.

Now, one reason that it has taken me until then to get my license is because I have epilepsy, making it illegal for me to drive. But in my heart that was all right. See, it was a good excuse not to have to take a test! Breakthroughs do happen, and in 1999, I was seizure – free due to an implant. Regardless, if I was going to live a full life, not feeling locked up in my home, I needed to get a drivers license.

I studied for months. When I'd think about the test , all kinds of what ifs would race through my mind. What if everyone laughed at me because I fail? What if I wreck? I'd get so nervous and have mini panic attacks. Finally, the day of the test came – scared, shaking, almost lightheaded – I took that test and passed! There was something to the written test that gave me confidence to take the practical test. I wasn't as scared and then I passed that too! I found outside my family, driving was the love of my life. For me, it is a most exhilarating experience.

That license brought me a freedom of mind. I thought, if I passed a driving test, I could do anything I wanted. So, I started thinking about going to college. But once again, the what ifs were too strong and so I didn't try until about two years later. I choose to change what what ifs instead of running from them. What if I do pass, what if I do graduate, what if I actually get a degree? Those what ifs finally out weighed the ones that held my hostage. With a deep breath, I took a step of faith and enrolled. Honestly, I would get nervous with every test, but I took them and passed them. I'm still working on graduating, but the what ifs no longer hold me back.

No word can fully describe what freedom means in your life; it is a after all your personal freedom. I must agree with the insightful words of George Eliot: Its never too late to be what you might have been. I encourage you, as you lead the rest of your day, pursue those thoughts, “Its never too late” then engage.
By Toni McAlister - Published in “Around Town Magazine”