Keeping a Positive Focus

One of the most important things we need to do as we change course in our lives is to keep a positive mental focus. Not only does being positive helps us to complete whatever we need to do to ensure we get the life we want, but also because the thoughts we think have a big influence on what happens in our lives. The more positive our thoughts the more likely we are to be motivated, enthused and excited about our new future, and hence make it happen.

Some people say that our thoughts are the most important aspect and there has been a lot of discussion recently, in light of the movie The Secret, about the Law of Attraction. The Law of Attraction basically states that like attracts like. If this is so, then our thoughts become the things in our lives. As with all ideas when people first come across it, and see the possibility, an excitement ripples through. However, the key to using a law like this is perseverance. To keep it working in your life after the initial enthusiasm wears off. Why does it wear off? Well, we are rather like stately liners at sea, move the rudder and it still takes a while to change course. But whether you believe in the Law of Attraction or not our thoughts do govern how we feel on a day-to-day basis.

If things are going well for us then we feel good and are motivated to carry on and achieve what we wish for. However, it is not what happens that makes us feel good, but our thoughts around what happened. For example, I can eat a cream cake. That’s just a simple event. Now I can make it good; I really enjoyed the cake, it tasted lovely and it was one of my favourite types of cake. Or, I can make it bad; it was too fattening, I shouldn’t have eaten it, I’ll put on yet another pound! It wasn’t the cake that was good or bad that affects my mood, but rather what I thought about it.

With this in mind think about how you feel when for example you are stalled in changing your career. It is easy to get despondent if you cannot see the change of course immediately. Perhaps you have tried many new ideas to find a new job but without any results, or searched for a new training course only to find that the one in your neighbourhood is full. Speaking with a few of my clients the main challenge at this ‘sticky’ stage is keeping the thoughts positive. It is challenging when you don’t feel so good, when the day hasn’t gone so well and it all feels a bit flat. It is at times like these that you need a trick up your sleeve to help you stay positive.

One thing we try to do at times like these is to pull ourselves together, stiff upper lip, push forward, make it change. This is simply reinforcing what we are feeling at the time. What we resist will persist. The truth is that if we are thinking sad, angry or frustrated thoughts we are not going to able to attract happy, joyful, positive thoughts. They are too far apart and will jar with where we are right now and it will feel like a lie. We will be unable to hold them. So, what can you do to start the change, to move towards more positive thoughts?

Move your thoughts one step up the ladder. In other words if you are feeling angry perhaps you can move to frustrated. Or if you are feeling frustrated perhaps you could move towards optimistic. It is far easier to think of something just slightly better than trying to jump too far up the ladder. For example, you may be really frustrated that you cannot find a course you need to ensure the career move of your choice. You are feeling frustrated, thwarted and rather deflated. Once you identify the level of your thoughts ask yourself ‘is there some other emotion that I could feel that would be better than this one?’

Perhaps you could go as far as feeling hopeful? Maybe you can identify another avenue of action that could possibly be good? Stick with this level of thought for a while and you will find that it draws towards you ever more positive thoughts. For example: “Well I could try to see there is a correspondence course with some a day release that might work.” “Oh, that’s an idea, and perhaps it could be at that college that’s only 50 miles away that I heard of recently” “John could give me a lift there as he works in the next town” “hey, that’s an idea and it would cut the costs” and on it goes, each thought being more positive than the last. You only have to find one slightly better thought to start the process.

Each move up the ladder then draws more thoughts equal to the previous one. As you start to feel happier, more positive thoughts can get a look in and you will find that the day doesn’t seem quite so grey. In this way your mood lifts and you can begin to see that there are things that you can do to change the current ‘stuckness’. There are people that you can talk with to get new ideas and your new positive feeling will have a galvanising effect.

So, next time you find yourself in an emotional state that does not correspond with what you want in your life ask yourself; “what thoughts can I focus on right now? What would move me towards my goal?” And think them!