Many, Many Mixed Signals
Written by Dr. Dennis W. Neder
Hi, I first met this guy through mutual friends about 2 months ago. The second time we all hung out during 4th of July in which case, he instantly showed me interest and invited me to another party. We flirted heavily and had a good time until 4 am. When we parted he invited me to hang out with him the next night however I declined because I didn't want to make myself too available and I didn't offer my number.
After a week I couldn't stop thinking about him so I got his number from a mutual friend and asked him out. He didn't answer so I left a message and he text me back the next morning saying he's busy with work functions but maybe we can hang out this weekend, that he would call me. He never called me.
I then ran into him a couple weeks later, he was very friendly and invited me to hang out with him and our friends who were having a brunch cocktail party on a Sat. Again, I didn't want to make myself too available so I left it at a maybe. I showed up, we flirted, made eye contact and after a couple drinks we were dancing and all over each other. We then parted from our social circle and he took me out to dinner. During dinner I made a false comment that I wasn't looking for a serious relationship and I just wanted to be casual and free. Afterwards he invited me to come back to his place, which case I did and we were intimate. The next morning, it wasn't too awkward however when we parted I was really nervous I just said a good bye with a hug and he just said I'll talk to you later.
He never called me afterwards. I text him 4 days later that I had a great time and it would be nice to see him again soon and asked him what his plans were that weekend. He text me right back and said he had fun too, but he had a friend visiting from out of town and he would call me soon for sure. I ran into him that weekend and he did indeed have a visitor and he acted pretty normal but neither of us said anything about getting together. He still hasn't called me now.
This whole time he has not called me on his own, although he responds right away when I contact him but doesn't set a date. Maybe he's not that into me or he's not emotionally available? He told me he has been single for 2 years from a serious 3 1/2 year relationship with a bad breakup. There's been some miscommunication between us, but for the most part if a guy is interested he would make the effort to call and set a date with a girl right? Should I just drop it and let it go?nn======================
Hello!
Hey! Great job on becoming the booty-call! If that was your goal, you played it just right. Good going!
Oh, wait. What's that you're saying? You didn't want to be the booty-call, you wanted more? Oh, sorry. That's too bad. Game over.
Where in the hell did you learn all this ridiculous misdirection from? Do you honestly think that lying about your interests, saying "no" when you mea
"yes", not being available when he wants to meet you is anything other than stupidity?
Well, obviously not. You seem to think this is good "relationship building". You, my dear are sadly, sadly mistaken.
You're actually blaming HIM for not being "emotionally available" and "not that into you"??? Are you seriously telling me that you don't know that YOU are the sole and exclusive cause of his behavior toward you???? I'm sitting here just shaking my head in disbelief.
He DID make the efforts and you ignored them for your game instead.
You got EXACTLY what you asked for. I just wish you had asked instead for what you really wanted.
Best regards...
------------------------------------------------------------------
Have a love, dating, relationship, sex or man/woman question? You can write to me by going to: http://beingaman.com/ask_question.asp for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's Worldtm" (volumes I and II), and other products visit: www.beingaman.com. Check out the new BAM! TV at http://beingaman.tv.nnCopyright (c) 2008, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.
Article author
About the Author
Further reading
Further Reading
Article
A Look at Avoidant Attachment Styles and How They Work
The early development of avoidant attachment creates a coping mechanism that forms in childhood. Disconnected parent-child interactions typically trigger this condition. People who develop this attachment style learn to depend on their resources. They avoid deep emotional connections. People with this attachment style want intimacy, yet they remain afraid of becoming dependent on others. Understanding Avoidant Attachment Among the four primary attachment styles, avoidant atta
February 6, 2025
Article
Do You Really Understand The Swinger Life-Style?
So, you want to Play swinging? Do you like the idea of having sex with several attractive people, with no strings attached? Want the chance to explore your fantasies with like-minded people? Love having the intimacy and long-term commitment of your partner, but don't want to miss out on the opportunity for sexual exploration and variety? If this sounds like something you'd like to try, the increasingly popular lifestyle known as 'swinging' could be for you. What's so shocking
August 29, 2024
Article
The Advantages of a Web-Based Swinger Dating Service
Web-based swapping dating services can help you find a long-term swap relationship in the comfort of your home. These types of services can provide singles with information about like-minded people and help them get in touch with other couples. To use dating expertise, you need to register together. When registering to use the service, you need to provide more information as well as your contact information and interests. Maintaining your information conveniently will help yo
August 29, 2024
Article
Dr. Venus Nicolino: You Have To Make Yourself Available To Find Good Relationships
The idea of making yourself more desirable by making yourself less available doesn't make a lot of sense when you think about it. After all, Juliet would have plunged a premature dagger into the heart of her romance with Romeo if she hid in her room rather than go out on her balcony. The end of Sleepless in Seattle shifts from "awww" to "aw, no" if one of the two main characters skips the trip to the Empire State Building. As these examples from fiction show, making yourself
August 16, 2024