Article

Develop strong inner beliefs to improve your self esteem

Topic: Self-Esteem and Self ConfidenceFeaturing Sean McPheatPublished December 16, 2002

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There are simple questions you can ask yourself to begin to clarify and develop your strong inner belief system, so that you can make decisions that are right for you.

Self-acceptance gives you the much needed energy and room to grow.

Having a strong value/inner belief system is very much dependent on our ability to accept ourselves—who we are, what we feel, how we see the world independent of what others say, think, feel and do.

The benefits of a strong inner belief system are varied and great:nn* Stronger self confidencenn* Healthy self esteemnn* Greater life satisfactionnn* Comfort with self and others

But how exactly does one go about developing this strong inner belief system?

Following are some questions for you to consider.

Finding the answers to these can help you begin to weed out the muck of “everybody else says,” and get back to the purity and perfection of self-expression.

1. Explore what you currently believe: about work, life, people, yourself

Try a free-writing exercise.

Write each word (work, life, etc.) at the top of a page (one for each page) and then free associate for each word.

Write down whatever thoughts might be conjured up by the word at the top of the page.

Write until each page is full.

2. How much of what you believe is your own?

Take a look at what your wrote on each page.

Identify messages that may have come from parents, friends, family, peers, teachers, etc.

Identify the recurring themes?

Now, highlight the things you feel truly reflect who you are and what you believe.

3. How much of it is enabling versus disabling?

When you look at the messages that came from others, are they enabling and empowering?

Or are they limiting?

Now, look at the ones that reflect your own inner belief system—are those empowering or limiting?

How do they make you feel?

4. What do you want to believe?

Consider your true beliefs.

Do they reflect how you want to feel about life, work, people, yourself?

Write each idea or thought down on the left hand side of a page, and on the right hand side, write how you’d like to feel/think about each instead.

Reprogram yourself by identifying these limiting thoughts as they pop into your head, and replacing them with the thoughts and ideas you identified on the right hand side instead.

If you continue this exercise, you’ll find the old limiting thoughts creeping up less and less, and the new empowering thoughts will begin to take their place.

5. What messages about life, people, work, yourself did you get from family as you shaped your personality?

Be prepared.

Messages from family members will continue to get repeated by them.

If you have chosen to reprogram any of their thoughts, values and beliefs, then be prepared to counter these beliefs whenever a family member articulates them.

6. What’s your response when you express your belief and someone disagrees?

Consider how you might respond, should you share your beliefs with others, and find that they disagree.

Here’s a hint: don’t change your mind. It’s ok that someone else believes differently from you—that’s what makes the world go round after all.

Instead, simply state that you see life/work/people/etc. differently, and then repeat and reconfirm your belief to yourself.

As you explore your answers to these questions, and explore the exercises associated with each, you’ll begin to realize that you do have a very strong belief system.

You may not always enforce or communicate it, but it’s there, just as your spirit and soul give you life.

The hard part then, is in developing confidence in your ability to express, in an unwavering fashion, these beliefs.

Others will challenge, but see your ability to continue with your belief system intact as part of you own personal growth—an opportunity to test your belief, and should it continue to feel solid, restate and reinforce it strongly.

Once your belief system has been strengthened, you will find that others, having less confidence in their own beliefs, will seek you out.

Grow also then, by helping and encouraging others to tap into their own belief system and follow the process you used to get where you are now.

Article author

About the Author

Sean McPheat is one of the leading Peak Performance Consultants around. He has helped and advised from CEO's, TV celebrities, award winning public speakers, top students and athletes to people who are unemployed, depressed, unfulfilled or just plain unhappy with their life! Sean is the founder of www.confidenceworld.com - a membership website portal dedicated to improving confidence and self esteem.

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