Minding Your Aloneness

I needed to come up with something “catchy” for my book, “AloneAbility: Learning to Embrace Your Aloneness” – so I was thinking about how I tell my readers that they have to be proactive when it comes to their aloneness. You’ve got to plan things out ahead of time; don’t want to be caught home alone with no one to hang out with on a Saturday night or a big holiday weekend or your birthday! So I decided on “Mind your aloneness, if you mind your aloneness.” Get it?

To stay mindful of your aloneness you need to be proactive. Most of us are so busy during the week day time that by night we’re just tired and don’t really care if we interact with anyone. But if you work at home, alone, like me, then you’ll want to have some things set up to participate in at night. They can be:
• Phone call to a friend
• Coaching calls
• Teleseminars
• Writing a note/Catching up on personal email
• Personal things like facials, nails, wardrobe care, etc.
• Reading
• Hobbies

Doing personal things at night after a long business day makes sense and it staves off the feeling of being too alone. I keep busy. I often color my hair at midnight because I know I will NOT get interrupted! I know that I have these things on my iPhone calendar and I set the alarm so that I will remember.
By keeping track of important dates, holidays, weekends, times where you might be triggered emotionally – it will help so much to have things planned in advance for you to do! Also there is the whole “keeping busy” thing – I’m okay with it, and it serves a purpose, but I don’t want you to become so busy that you exhaust yourself or you have no time to think. Solitude is a wonderful thing and for me, greatly enhances my life. So be sure you have some time scheduled for Solitude as well.
Minding your aloneness requires you to look at how you live your life and how you can make it better with some planning. For example, my mother died in 2011 and Mother’s Day is bound to be a rather emotional, empty day for me. My first time without a mother. What I’ve chosen to do is to go to a Spa with a friend and “take to the waters” and soak in the mineral spring that day. My friend has no children (mine are grown) and her mother has also passed. We are set to help each other through a challenging day and make the most of our time together by doing a little soaking and getting a 20 minute massage. This gives me something to look forward to, instead of dreading.
So it’s all about your mind and if you mind how you feel about your aloneness, then you’ll make some changes to improve it and cause yourself to feel comfortable instead of isolated or alone. Knowing that you are on top of things does give you peace of mind and your emotional health will benefit from that.
Minding your Aloneness if you mind your aloneness is one way to make sure that you have the best life ever and knowing that you are the one who determines your own personal happily ever after!