Nudging Without Nagging

We've all been there. We want to encourage a child to do her homework,nor a spouse to complete his project, or a colleague to complain lessnand act more. How can we encourage without criticizing, berating ornpushing too hard?nnHere are three techniques that can help you nudge without nagging.nn* Show appreciation.nnNovelist Arnold Bennett had a publisher who boasted about thenextraordinary efficiency of his secretary. One day while visiting thenpublisher's office, Bennett asked her: "Your boss claims you'renextremely efficient. What's your secret?"nn"It's not my secret," said the assistant, "it's his." She went on tontell him that her boss always acknowledged and appreciated everythingnshe did, regardless how insignificant. That was why she worked so hardnfor him. Her boss' appreciation nudged her toward constantnimprovement.nn* If possible, keep it light-hearted.nnThe careful use of humor can work in any relationship where nudgingnmay be required. One wife used it effectively when she found herselfnon the verge of nagging her husband to repair the lawn mower. He hadnpromised to fix it, but the grass grew ever taller while henprocrastinated.nnThen one day he came home and found her seated on the ground snippingngrass with sewing scissors, one blade at a time. He watched innamazement and then went into the house.nWhen he returned, he handed her a toothbrush. "Honey," he said, "whennyou finish cutting the grass would you mind sweeping the sidewalks?"nnThey both laughed. And, more importantly, the mower was fixed.nn* Be polite and respectful.nnSometimes it's more about how you say it than what you say. Peoplenrespond best when they are respected and valued.nnElizabeth Harrison stated, "Those who are lifting the world upward andnonward are those who encourage more than criticize." Try these simplentechniques next time you want to nudge without nagging.n