Nurturing Our Relationship - Invest some Love and Time and Reap the Rewards!

As a staff support officer I am seeing an increasing number of people who are sadly splitting up having been together, in a lot of cases, for many years. They say that the magic has gone and they have grown apart, and perhaps they have taken each other for granted over several years. Each has become complacent and then suddenly they start evaluating their lives, or someone else starts showing an interest, and they begin to realise that they want more from the lives and relationships.

I suggest therefore that if we have thoughts towards nurturing our relationship, it is worth evaluating your relationship, see to what extent it is working or not, as the case may be, and considering what you might do if you both want to keep things together.

Maybe first of all be conscious of your arguments and disagreements. What is the basis for them, is there a common denominator? If you are constantly finding fault with your partner, why is that, is it important, if so communicate and discuss and sort it out. Perhaps you can let some things go, being right all the time can be infuriating, and if you are fault finding, you could be bullying your partner and reducing their confidence. Ultimately you cannot change people, and you have to let them be, and celebrate who and what they are. If you are not right for each other it is better to move on than to continue hurting each other.

You could start dating again, making things seem fresh and new, respecting each other, being polite and kind and watching your manners. (No passing wind in bed is a good start!) This may sound daft but it can be very exciting, therapeutic and effective so please do not write it off without trying first. You might even choose to surprise your mate with a special night out or a little gift for no particular reason. Let them see again your personality, charm, sensitivity and spontaneity, which is what perhaps attracted them in the beginning, apart from your stunning good looks of course!

Try not to hang on too tightly – your grip can damage a relationship if it is too strong! Let them have their friends, express and be themselves – we all need more than one person in our to meet all our needs, and our friends are important too, so try to be more easy and free.

Take the time and interest to know your partner and to know what they need. We are all different and there are not always rights and wrongs, just variations and differences of opinion. Some of us need more physical love and affection and reassurance of our partners love and commitment. Some of us show love by being more practical. So be willing to make an effort to give in your relationship, because by giving genuine love and affection, you will by nature receive it in return.
There is no doubt that we can sustain and nurture our relationships if we care enough and we are prepared to work at them. Try not to be too complacent, there are no guarantees in life, and some things are not forever. However to love and to be loved are the greatest of gifts in life, and it has to be worth some real investment and nurture.

Wishing you much peace and happiness.