Six Sure-Fire Steps to Become a Love Magnet(c)

Want to become a love magnet? Want to attract true love or improve your relationship?

Good, because you deserve to be loved! And, lucky you, I will show you how to attract that love by working on the person you see when you look in the mirror.

That's right. Although you're seeking love from another person, you will be more likely to get the love and attention you deserve by first growing within.

Here are the six steps you need to take to help you grow in just the right way. The steps will groom you to attract and engender love.

1. Figure out your relationship pattern

If you are not attracting the right partners or not getting enough love in your relationship, it's probably not the first time in your life. If that's the case, then it's likely you have relationship patterns that are preventing you from attracting the right partner or preventing you from behaving in a way that causes love. Get to know your relationship pattern and your love life will improve (see last week's newsletter at www.WhatItTakes.com/Archive).

2. Let go of your past

Most people collect unpleasantness without realizing it. Every time something unpleasant happens to you, it goes into a huge sack of other unpleasantness weighing heavily on your back. You can't move forward in life, and especially in relationships, with this baggage. You can't move forward emotionally any better than if you had a real sack weighing 100 pounds on your back. Even if you don't feel the weight most of the time -- you will feel it in relationships. It feels like excessive anger, excessive need to control others, reactiveness, fear and anxiety. Want to drop this weight? Learn to let go of the unpleasantness in your life and in your past, and I mean really let go.

3. Delve into your needs

Everyone has needs -- that's a part of human nature. In fact, our needs facilitate relationships. The giver and the receiver both feel better and more connected when each other's needs are voiced and met. Yet most of us are uncomfortable asking others to meet our needs. At the same time, we all enter relationships to get our needs met. See the paradox? Figure out your needs, figure out which ones need to be met by your partner and which ones need to be met by other people. Get them met!

4. Draw your boundaries

Boundaries are there to protect you, and to help you honor your needs and wants, not your "shoulds." You have boundaries when you can choose to say yes or no to something, someone or a situation. You have boundaries when you can stop a situation that is hurting you. You have boundaries when you know your needs and ask others to respect them. Having boundaries makes you disce
ing, gives you self-respect, and inspires other people to both respect you and treat you well.

5. Know what you want

Know what you want in a partner and in a relationship. Be careful that what you want is not a fantasy, unrealistic standards of perfection, or a set of low expectations. Look at the relationships you value most and model your love relationship after those. Keep out people who are not a match, invite in those who are. Stop doing behaviors that sabotage what you want in your relationship and instead take action to create what you want.

6. Get connected

Build a community. Get people into your life to meet your needs, to support you, to nourish you. Many people want to simply find "the one" or hope they have found "the one", and then proceed to isolate themselves. What a stress on a relationship! Can you put all of your needs, wants, desires, interests on one person? Do you think all of your needs will somehow be met by one Prince or Princess Charming? We are all social animals in need of community. We have way too many needs for one person to meet them all. Get connected, and stay connected.

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Pariesnwww.WhatItTakes.com

This article was originally published by Coach Rinatta Paries in "The Relationship Coach Newsletter," a weekly e-zine for people who want fulfilling relationships. For singles, the newsletter will help you attract your Mr. or Ms. Right. If you're in a relationship, you will learn to create more closeness and intimacy with your mate. To subscribe, go to www.WhatItTakes.com nnn