Re-ignite the Fire in your Relationship
Written by Gudrun Frerichs, PhD
It is a well known fact, that relationships lose their fire after a while. The romantic moments, the butterflies in the stomach, the obsessive thinking about the love object, all those exciting feelings that make you feel alive slowly dim down with time. Like a campfire that runs out of wood. Most couples come to accept that, after some years, everything is ‘the same old, same old…’ But does that have to be?
Researcher have studied this topic in great depth and found that there are ways to keep the fire in your relationship alive. They figured that when people do something different, unusual, and exciting, the brain’s reward system starts dispersing dopamine and norepinephrine into the brain. They are the same chemicals that keep firing when you ‘fall in love’.
The recipe doesn’t sound too difficult. If your relationship becomes stale take the initiative and plan something exciting and new that you can do with your partner. Remember to mix up the time you spend with your partner. There are a few things to keep in mind:
“Make time each week for a romantic date with your partner. Go out for a meal, to the movies, dancing, the theatre, or have a candle light dinner at home. It’s important that you go to new places and do new things that are un-familiar for both. Take the dance lesson you always wanted or do a dive course together”.
The more exciting the activity is you chose, the bigger is the positive impact on your relationship. Just make sure that your partner is not totally against the activity. For example, you don’t want to get me go bungy jumping with you. Nothing in the world would bring me to bungy jump and we would have a pretty heated argument on our hands. At the end all comes down to creativity, spontaneity and putting some effort into your relationship.
If your relationship is in crisis, doing something exciting and new together may not be enough to iron out the problems. You might have to search for ways to resolve conflict together. However, if you relationship is humming along well, doing something new and exciting will bring new sparks into your lives.
If you are interested in learning more about how to have a relationship that works, follow this link
http://psychologicalresolutions.co.nz/index.php?page=mini-e-course to sign up for my free 7-Step-mini e-course “The Secret to Successful Relationships”.
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