Relapse. Always or Never? Shira Goldberg

Recovery Coach Shira- Thoughts on Relapse
I think that recovery is not only a process, but unlike popular belief, definitely not a linear one. Statistically speaking, relapse, or at least a 'lapse,' (and yes I do believe there is a difference) is almost a guarantee for about 80% of the population.

I don't think that it is is a failure on the part of the person, but a time to allow oneself to reassess, to contemplate and to realize all of the progress one has been able to achieve.

As a recovery coach, I always suggest taking an inventory of your successes and see how far you have come, how much you now know and talk with someone who you are comfortable with, and has your best intentions at heart, to help figure out where there is room to strengthen, keeping what is working and omit what is not.

Addicts and alcoholics live in absolutes, and that can only lead to guilt and shame which can never be the answer for effective change.

With such a multi-faceted problem, there will be slips, but more importantly, room for growth. It took us long time to become addicts and alcoholics, that road was far from perfect, so it would make sense that the road ahead won't be either.

I have a client who was sober for three years, and even she was shocked she relapsed. She immediately blamed herself and thankfully took her parents advice to go to rehab. After she came to me, with trepidation, and some residual shame, I asked her about her SAT's. I remembered from when I took my own the best advice we got beforehand is do not check any answers with ALWAYS and NEVER, so if it is true in that context, it would make sense it is good advice in all contexts.

We are never ALWAYS anything, good or bad, just learning to be better at sobriety each and every day. That is what is important.

Shira Goldberg~