Relationship Advice - Communicating Clearly in Your Relationship

Have you ever tried to communicate with your partner but it ended up going horribly wrong? People in relationships often want to communicate well but haven't yet learned how to do it. Even some of the most well-intentioned people who really love each other experience conflict and difficulties because they don't know how to get their point across without causing a scene.

I'm a big fan of clarity in a relationship. Clarity is when each person involved understands what's going on in the relationship. It does away with guesses, assumptions, secrets, suspicions, misunderstandings and frustration because you actually get to figure out what's going on.

How can you increase the clarity in your relationship? The next time you have a conflict in any relationship try the following exercise to build understanding:

1. One person talks without interruptions about the situation.

2. The other person listens carefully without reacting negatively, judging, rebutting or giving advice.

3. Each person can ask open-ended questions, if needed, to clarify what is going on, not to lead the conversation.

4. You both agree to continue practicing this exercise until you're each satisfied you understand what's going on in the relationship and that you've been heard.

When people get together and actually exchange information in a kind and caring way, they build stronger relationships with less effort. Everyone involved gathers information and understands the situation better. Make sure to practice this exercise until it feels natural. At first it may feel a little weird but, over time, it will help you communicate more effectively.

This way of talking about relationship issues doesn't create confrontation; it helps people listen to each other and share their thoughts. Try it sometime to communicate more clearly in your relationship.