Relationships: Are Friends The People That We Have In Our Life Who Undermine Us?

While one can share their life with people who support them, they can also be in a different position. As a result of this, the people they are closest to could be the ones who hold them back.

The Ideal

When one has people around them are able to support them, their life is going to be far more fulfilling. There is a strong chance that they will feel good when they are in their presence, and it could make it easier for them to move forward in life.

And as they act in a supportive manner towards them, there might be no reason for them to hold anything back. Or if they do, it could be something that rarely takes place, and this is going to allow them to have a strong connection with these people.

A Richer Life

There will then be how they feel when they spend time with them, and the effect these people have on their life in general. It could be said that their life wouldn’t be the same without these people.

Now, this is not to say that they are ‘dependent’ on them; what it comes down to is that human beings are interdependent. Thus, while one could survive without these kinds of connections, their life wouldn’t be the same.

Time

One may have had some of these people in their life for a number of years, while there could be others who haven’t been around for very long. This will then show that it is not always necessary for one to have known someone for a long time to have a strong connection with them.

They may have met some of these people whilst they were at school or college, or it could have been when they were at work, for instance. There is also the chance that they came into contact with some of them when they were out socialising.

A Connection

It could then be said that if one has a connection with someone, it doesn’t matter where they are. The main thing is that they get on, and this can then be enough for them to develop a relationship with each other.

The effort that each person puts into the relationship will then be what keeps it alive and what allows it to grow. If they didn’t put this effort in, their connection would soon come to an end, or it might be kept alive through what one person does.

Out of Balance

However, even though this might just about keep the relationships alive, it is unlikely to be a relationship that is very fulfilling. One person will be happy for it to end and the other will be doing everything they can to keep it going.

When this occurs, it could be said that it might be in their best interest to let the relationship come to an end. Through doing this, it will enable them to put their energy into a relationship that will have a positive effect on their life.

Another Experience

Nevertheless, while one can be in a position where they have friends who support, they could have people around them who make their life harder than it needs to be. Or they could have at least one person who does this.

One could then think about how they don’t need to have an enemy when they have these kinds of people around them. Still, this is not to say that it is always possible for one to realise when they are being brought down them.

Abuse

For example, one could spend time around people who are abusive, and it is then likely to be only too clear. These people could verbally abuse them, or even physically harm them, and this will make it hard for them to feel good about themselves.

When they are around them they will be worn down, and then when they are by themselves, they will be caught up in the effects of what took place. And if this is how they have been treated by people for as longer as they can remember, they might not longer notice what is taking place.

Another Approach

This kind of behaviour can then be what be what they are accustomed to, and this will make it a lot easier for other people to treat them badly. But if one doesn’t have people in their life who are abuse them in this way, it could mean that they have a more subtle approach.

In this case, one could be treated as though they are incapable, and this means that they are going to be undermined. Someone could act as though they have ones beast interests at heart, but this will be nothing more than an illusion.

Unstable Foundations

What this is likely to show is that this is someone who is not very comfortable with who they are, and in order for them to feel good about themselves, they need to keep other people down. Through doing this, it stops them from having to face how they feel; this is why they can’t allow the people in their life to rise up.

Now, this is not to say that they will realise this, as it could be something that they are not even aware of. Even so, it is still going to be something that not only has a big effect on their life, but something that has a big effect on the people they spend time with.

Awareness

If one is used to having people in their life who undermine them, then it is likely to be a sign that they don’t value themselves. It is then going to be important for them to change how they see themselves.
This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist.