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Relationships: Why Are Some People Drawn To People Who Come Across As Certain?

Topic: Self-Esteem and Self ConfidenceBy Oliver JR CooperPublished Recently added

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When it comes what someone can do in order to be able to influence others, there are a number of things that are often put forward. One thing that they could hear about is how important it is for them to have the right body language.

Through using their body in the right way, it will allow them to have a positive effect on others. And as to what they will need to do, it can all depend on the effect that they want to have.

Two Examples

If one wanted to come across as confident, it will be necessary for them to have good posture and to open themselves up, for instance. Their voice will also need to be clear, and it might be a good idea to make sure that they don’t speak too fast.

On the other hand, if one was in a position where they needed other people to open up to them, they will want to make sure that they don’t come across in an imposing manner. Thus, they might want to have their arms by their side, and to use their voce in a nonthreatening way.

Showing Up

Nevertheless, if one is not present during these moments, they are unlikely to get very far. This can then cause other people to feel as though something isn’t right, but they might not be able to work out what is wrong.

Or, if this doesn’t take place, they could come to the conclusion that one is putting on an act. It will be as if they are interested or conce
ed, for instance, and yet their mind is somewhere else.

Technology

This is why it will be vital for them to make sure that they don’t let their device consume their attention when they are around others. At times, they might need to use it, and this is because it could be part of the conversation.

In general, they are unlikely to have the need to use anything, and this will allow them to be in the moment. The person they are talking to can then feel as though one respects them and that they actually want to hear what they have to say.

Emotional Control

Along with this, if one is able to make sure that their emotions don’t control them, it will give them the ability to control their behaviour. The alte
ative would be for them to be at the whim of their emotions, and this will make it a lot harder for them to do this.

There could then be days when they will be able to influence others, and days when they merge into the background, so to speak. And if they are unable to be consistent, it could stop some people from paying attention to them.

Another Effect

And when one has the ability to handle their emotions, it will allow them to greet people in the same way when they meet them. The people around them are then going to have to worry about how one will respond to them.

They will know what they are going to get, and this can mean that they are more likely to reach out to them. If one was approachable one moment and cold the next, it is naturally going to have a negative effect on others.

Self-Assured

What also can’t be overlooked is how one will need to come across as confident, as this is something that will have a big effect on other people treat them. Without this, it will be a challenge for them to influence others.

Through seeing how confident they are, it can be normal for other people to be drawn to them. There could be times when being confident will be enough and one won’t need to do anything else.

The Other Side

If one finds it hard to believe this, they only need to think about how people behave around certain authority figures. Not only can they come across as confident, they can act as though they know everything.

But although some people will be repelled by this kind of behaviour, there are going to be others who will warm to it. It won’t matter how irrational their behaviour is, as they will be pulled in by them.

Two Sides

On one side, it could be said that there are going to be people who are believe in themselves and are knowledgeable. Even so, this doesn’t mean that they will have this level of belief when it comes to every area of their life, and they are not going to know everything.

On the other side, there are going to be the people who always come across in this way; it won’t matter what they are doing, or what it relates to. So while the first example can be a sign that someone has worked hard to get where they are, the second example can show that they are out of touch with reality.

Certainty

When one is drawn to someone like this, it can show that they don’t feel comfortable in their own skin. Through lacking self-belief and being on one side of the spectrum, people who appear to be on the other side of it are going to appeal to them.

It is then similar to how someone can have the need to experience complete control when they feel as though they have no control. In this case, the person who acts as though nothing fazes them is going to be put on a pedestal.

Awareness

One way of looking at this would be to say that whether someone is certain or not all depends on what is taking place in their mind. But no matter how certain they are, it doesn’t mean that their life will always go as they want it to go.

If one finds it hard to believe in themselves, they might need to reach out for exte
al support. This is something that can be provided by a therapist.

Article author

About the Author

Prolific writer, author, and coach, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over one thousand in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. His current projects include 'A Dialogue With The Heart' and 'Communication Made Easy'. To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/ Feel free to join the Facebook Group -
https://www.facebook.com/OliverJRCooper

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