Relationships with a Narcissistic Personality Can Cause Severe Illness to the Victim
Written by Amy Adam
When you are in a relationship with an individual with narcissistic personality disorder, there is a great deal of emotional upheaval, trauma and uncertainty.
The narcissistic personality will dismantle his or her victim’s self-esteem, self-belief and self-worth in order to control and continue to extract narcissistic supply and resources from this person.
What ensues for the person being narcissistically abused is a progressive disintegration of ‘self’. Depression and anxiety sets in, whereby the person being affected by narcissistic behaviour, is confused, losses all sense of control in their life and is agitated and walking on broken glass. Reality is twisted and turned until this person loses trust in the narcissist, trust in life, and ultimately trust in them.
Emotional wellbeing is inevitably connected with physical wellbeing. Due to being continually lied to and violated, and the diminished ability to know what is or isn’t safe, or to take care of one’s own needs healthily (have effective boundary function) the victim of narcissistic abuse develops Complicated or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, may struggle to eat and sleep, and losses the ability to connect to personal goals or life direction.
Agoraphobia is also a common symptom, which is the inability to feel safe in one’s body or to face other people. An individual enduring narcissistic behaviour becomes isolated from healthy connections with the outside world, and he or she loses essential self-esteem in order to connect.
The narcissist is a master of destroying connections by proclaiming he or she is the good person, and creating smear campaigns that the person he or she is abusing is the one with the problems. Or the narcissistic personality makes it so unbearable for the individual to retain connections, that these sources of support are let go of. The abused individual may also be so ashamed of continually re-hooking with the narcissist that they simply can’t face family or friends.
The threat of severe illness is very real. Abused people who are hooked and addicted to narcissistic abuse are living a very unhealthy existence. Many narcissistically abused individuals do develop serious and even life threatening physical illnesses. Additionally many individuals who are being narcissistically abused may choose unhealthy ways to try to cope with the disintegration of their emotions and life, such as addictions to prescription drugs, illicit drugs and / or alcohol. All of these choices only accelerate the disintegration of living with extreme abuse.
It is not unusual for victims of narcissistic abuse to feel so much pain and helplessness that they think about, threatens or even carries out suicide. Because the effects of narcissistic abuse are so deadly and serious, it is essential that individuals being abused find the strength to pull away, stay away and work diligently on their own healing path in order to recover.
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