Reverse Engineering Your Life

I have an ongoing “debate” with one of my relatives. According to her, I do too much. I need to relax and take it easy. That is what life is about.

For her.

Admittedly and proudly so, I am a very active person. I teach and train in the Russian art of Systema, learning Japanese Sword, Filipino Combat Systems, Shodo (Calligraphy), run marathons and other events, am a regular at the gym, learn Japanese and write and read a great deal. Add to the mix a family and a business. For me, this is what life is about.

One of the most valuable skills I have come across is reverse engineering; that is, starting from the end and working backwards. For many years, I was in the sometimes fortunate/sometimes challenging position of treating people who were in the deep winter of their life.

Many often spoke about their life, what they liked, what they loved and how they would do it all over if given the chance. To a person, each expressed regret at the things they did not do, the things they missed out on. None expressed sorrow or remorse about their perceived “failures.” None ever spoke about the “great time” they had cleaning their living room or mowing the lawn. A grand total of zero felt poorly about not working more or keeping their garage in order with greater frequency. There were no missed TV shows mentioned.

Life is a participation sport. That was a crystal clear message all spoke. As such, that is how I reverse engineer my life. What are the things that if I did not get to do, I would deeply regret if this was my last day on beautiful Mother Earth? Those are the things I start with. Those are the things I do.

I can live with “failing” at them (what ever that means). I can live without being the best at them. What I cannot, nor will not live with is the regret of never having done them. Too many people have crossed over the River, bringing with them a laundry list of regrets at being a passive observer in life.

It also dawned on me the other day. I am not really doing 6 or 7 different activities. I have found 6 or 7 different ways of expressing myself. Different ways of letting the Universe know how grateful I am to have a healthy body and a sound mind. Different ways of letting the Muses of Creativity know that I am listening.

Most importantly, I am not waiting to the end of my life to realize what so many have told me — The only failure in life is the failure to participate in it.