Self-Centred: Can Pain Cause Someone To Be Self-Centered?

It is often said that human beings are inherently selfish and the only thing they care about is themselves. There are going to be some people who agree with this and there are going to be others who don’t.

If a being from another planet landed on earth and heard this outlook from a human being, they might come to conclusion that human beings are to be avoided. The impression that they form through hearing this is unlikely to be positive.

One Experience

After hearing this, they might decide to go and find out for themselves, to see if this is actually true. Upon meeting someone else, they could ask them something and end up being ignored.

Or they could find someone who needs their help and end up helping them, but when it comes to what they want, the other person walks away. Their experiences have then validated what they heard when they had just arrived on earth.

Another Experience

Now, let’s say that the being from another planet doesn’t experience the scenarios above and instead, they meet someone who is only too willing to help them. And once this happens, they continue to meet others who do the same thing.

If they were to come across people who were selfish, they would know that not everyone is the same. They could also meet someone who is only too willing to help them at one point and then they could end up being too busy for them in the next.

Balance

This would allow them develop a balanced outlook when it comes to what human beings are like. Although this relates to an experience a being from another planet might have, it sheds light on how human beings can be.

There are going to be some people who are almost always selfish and others who are more almost always willing to be there for others. And in the middle of these two extremes, there will be people who can switch from one side of the coin to the other.

How Is This Possible?

If human beings only thought about themselves, then everyone would be the same. yet, as there is a difference and people don’t always behave in the same way, it shows that this is not black and white.

It could be said that human beings need to put themselves first as it is an important part of their ability to survive. However, the need to survive is not the only need that exists and this is why human beings can come across as ‘altruistic’.

Two Factors

One’s heart will play an important part them being there for others and there will also be the conditioning that they have received. Yet, just because one behaves in ways that are not classed as selfish, it doesn’t mean they are not getting anything back.

Through being there for others, they could receive the validation they need to support the image they have of themselves or the values that they hold. It could then be said that there is lower form of selfishness and a higher form.

The Defining Factors

If one has been conditioned to be there for others, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are operating from a higher form of selfishness; as it could be a way for them to receive approval from others. Their behaviour is then being defined by their need to survive and their needs could end up being ignored.

When one is operating from a higher form of selfishness, they will generally be in balance. Taking care of their needs allows them to be there for others. And although their behaviour may lead to approval, it is not the only reason why they do what they do. They do what they do because it not only feels right in their heart; it also matches up with how they see themselves.

Focus

However, just because someone is usually caught up in their own world, it doesn’t mean that this won’t change. There may also be times when one is no longer able to be there for others and ends up being caught up in their own world.

The reason for this change could be due to how they feel. This is similar to how the sun can make people want to go out and the rain can make them want to stay in.

Pain

When one is usually selfish, something could happen that changes how they feel and as they feel better, they might no longer need to be caught up in their own head. As their pain has diminished or even disappeared, they now have the energy to be there for others.

Whereas, for the person who is usually happy to be there for others, this could all change because of how they feel. The pain that they are experiencing within them could end up being their point of focus and this means they won’t have as much energy.

A Way Of Life

There will be some people who have been in pain for most of their life and there will be others, who end up this way through what has happened to them in later life. This is going to mean that even though someone is self-centred, it doesn’t mean they want to be.

It could be that based on how they feel, it is not possible for them to be any other way. There are also going to be people who need the time to focus on themselves so that they can deal with their pain. For example: if one has recently lost someone, it will be normal for them to focus on themselves.

Awareness

What matters here, is that one reaches out for the right support. Pain is part of life and although it is often avoided, it is there for a reason. The sooner one faces their emotional pain, the sooner they will be able to be experience a balance between being there for themselves and being there for others. This support can be from a therapist, healer and/or a support group.