Self-Compassion: Why Are Some People Compassionate Towards Others But Not To Themselves?

When one comes across as having a caring manner, they can be seen as someone who is good to be around. The people who spend time around them are likely to appreciate how they respond to their worries and conce
s.

There can also be how they respond in their chosen career, and this could mean that they are also appreciated in this area of their life. Through being this way, there is the chance that one is in a position where they assist others who are suffering in some way.

The Helping Profession

This could mean that one is a doctor or a nurse, or they may look after other people in another way. Perhaps one spends time caring for the elderly, or they may work with troubled youths.

Having said that, they may be some kind of therapist or healer, and they will then focus on what is taking place in people’s body and/or mind. What this comes down to is that there are a number of ways that one can make a difference when they are this way.

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However, one could also have a career where they don’t assist others in any of these ways, and this could be a sign that they are currently studying. It will then only be a matter of time before they are doing something that allows them to make the most of their caring nature.

Yet if this is not the case, it could be because one doesn’t feel the need to live their life in this way. They may prefer to share this part of themselves in other ways, and this could still allow them to have the same effect on others.

A Big Difference

During the time when they are at work, they could come across people from all walks of life, and their behaviour could have a big effect. They could listen to what others have to say or simply acknowledge their presence.

And this could cause them to go away feeling a lot better about themselves, or they might finally go after something that they have been putting off. If one not only listens to what others had to say but also shows their support, it could be said that these kinds of outcomes are to be expected.

The Small Things

As although it can seem as though it is only possible to make a difference through doing something significant, this is not the case. It is often the small things that people do for each other that have the biggest impact.

This is why it doesn’t matter where one lives or how much money they have in the bank, for instance, they can still touch the lives of others. What matters is that they do what they can to make a difference.

Relationships

When it comes to their personal life, they could be surrounded by people who are pleased to have them in their life. They will know that one cares about them and that they are not going to go out of their way to treat them badly.

This could mean that one is used to people opening up to them, and there may be times when they have to draw the line, so to speak. As if this didn’t take place, they would end up being weighed down by what other people are going through.

Both Ways

Yet as they are like this, there is a strong chance the people in their life behave in the same way. What they offer to these people is then going to be what they receive from them, and this may stop their relationships from being out of balance.

Thus, one will be able to have their needs met and they won’t feel like they are some kind of caregiver. Being around these people will then have a positive effect on their well-being and they will give them support that they need to carry on behaving in the same way.

Self-Compassion

And when one treats other people with kindness, it could be said that they will treat themselves in the same way. This is because how they treat others is going to be a reflection of how they treat themselves.

The voice inside their own head will generally be supportive and so they won’t be too hard on themselves if something doesn’t go to plan. It could be said that they will be their own best friend as opposed to their own worst enemy.

Another Experience

Yet even though this might sound accurate, it is not always what takes place; instead, how one treats others can be the complete opposite of how they treat themselves. So if someone believes that one treats others is how they treat themselves, they are going to be in for a big surprise.

But when this takes place, one could focus on how they treat others and that could be as far as it goes. Still, if they were to spend time with them, they may start to see that they don’t treat themselves very well.

Walked Over

One could have people in their life who take advantage of them, and they could find that they give more than they receive. Their needs are then going to be overlooked and the needs of others will take precedence.

It will then be normal for one to feel drained and as though they are running on empty. The image they present to others is then going to be radically different to what is taking place within them.

A Closer Look

What this can show is that their early years were a time when they had to focus on their caregiver/s needs. Therefore, in order to survive, it would have been vital for them to behave like a caregiver.

Their needs would then have generally been ignored and they may also have been abused in other ways. This would have set one up to feel worthless and they would have lost touch with their own needs.

A Role

How they behave towards others is then a false-self that they had to develop as a child to avoid being harmed and/or abandoned. It could be said that as they can’t be compassionate towards themselves, the compassion that they show towards others isn’t real; it is simply an act that they put on to receive other peoples approval.

Awareness

If they no longer needed other people’s approval and they felt safe enough to be themselves, how they treat others would be a reflection of how they treat themselves. Also, one might not want to do the same things anymore, and this is because how they behaved in the past didn’t reflect their true-self.

If one can relate to this and they want to move forward, they may need to work with a therapist.