Self Talk Tips - How to Banish Negative Self Talk in 3 Proven Steps

Thoughts have power. They drive our decisions, our goals, our dreams, and ultimately our lives. Are you living the life you've always dreamed of living? If not, then what were you thinking?

What were you telling yourself all these years to get where you are today? Did you believe you were worthy of success, or did you have some doubts about your future?

What did you tell yourself you could or could not do? What did you tell yourself you wanted to accomplish? When did you decide that what you wanted wasn't within your reach?

It happened the moment you first thought it couldn't happen.

Thoughts are more powerful than most people think, because they are private. We don't see the harm in beating ourselves up when we make a mistake, or telling ourselves we aren't good enough. We may not even realize that we're always talking to ourselves.

Every instant we're alive, we are unconsciously sending signals to our brain to tell it how to function. Many of the obstacles we face are in our minds.

We dwell on every possible reason for how we could fail, and spend little or no time focusing on how we could win!

Have you ever known someone to do something really foolish? You ask, "What were they thinking?" How much easier it is to see how thoughts determine the actions of others than it is to see this in ourselves! "If they were thinking clearly, they would not have done such a thing," we say to ourselves.

So, what about us? If we were thinking clearly...!

Step #1

On a piece of paper, write down all the things that you're telling yourself. Include both the good as well as the bad-things that are so ingrained in your mind; you don't even know they're wrong.

For example:

o I'm not worthy of love.
o I don't deserve to be successful.
o I'll never have enough money.
o I could never do what he/she does.
o My life is never going to change.

We tell ourselves so many false and limiting beliefs; we actually start to believe them!

Step #2

Now that you have your list of limiting beliefs, practice replacing each negative statement with a positive one. Write these positive statements on 3x5 index cards, one per card. Here are some examples of negative thoughts/beliefs and how to turn them into positive statements:

Negative:
"I am not worthy of true love."
"I am ugly."
"I'll never be rich."

Replace with:
"I deserve to be unconditionally loved."
"I am beautiful in the way God made me. I am his perfection, his masterpiece."
"I love making money; I am prosperous and deserve to be wealthy."

Step #3

For the next thirty days, once in the morning, and again in the evening, look at yourself in the mirror and repeat each of your new positive affirmations with enthusiasm and conviction.

I guarantee by the end of the thirty days, you will see a change in your attitude, your thoughts and your life. This exercise works because it uses the power of our all-powerful minds. What we tell ourselves is the fuel that lights our fire.

The choice is always ours: whether we want to make our fire blaze with a flame that is bright and steady, or let it burn down to a pile of smoldering ashes that eventually die out.

You have just made the first step toward taking complete charge of your life. By identifying negative thoughts and self-talk, and replacing them with positive ones, you've turned up the flame and ignited your fire-and-desire to create a happier, more productive and satisfying life. You're well on your way to winning at life-not somewhere in the far distant future-but right now!