Sign of Recovery?

A few weeks ago, when I was in Manchester for healing sessions, two of my clients and one of my colleagues talked about being drawn to wear a different type of clothes. This is an experience I've had at different times in my life, including when I was recovering from ME / CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome) - and now seems a good time to talk about it.

Both of my clients in different ways were talking about how as they are changing, they feel drawn to different types of clothes, or that their old clothes no longer represent who they are somehow. The first woman had been suffering from extreme fatigue, lethargy and inability to motivate herself (no doubt quite a few of you with CFS / ME can relate to those symptoms.) All the time she has been fatigued, she has had no particular interest in clothes - and now, receiving the healings, and feeling a lot better, this is reflected in a renewed interest in how she looks.

I can really relate to this experience. When I was first ill with CFS / ME, I wasn't at all interested in how I looked, what type of clothes I was wearing - and didn't have the energy or inclination to look for new clothes anyway! For me, beginning to be interested in clothes again was a sign that I was more well.

My second client has been seeing me because she feels that there must be more to life than she had been experiencing - she felt somehow as though she was just "getting through" her life rather than really enjoying it. As she experiences more energy and enthusiasm for life, she is finding that she wants to wear a different style of clothes to be more in tune with who she is becoming.

This is also my own personal experience. At a certain point in my recovery journey, not only was I interested in clothes and my appearance again - it just felt as though I couldn't bear to wear the clothes that I had been wearing. Somehow, it felt all wrong - as though they weren't "me" any more.

And I suppose that clothes do show to the world who we are, or who we aspire to be. And this is what the third person, my colleague was talking about. She was saying that she is beginning to dress for who she wants to become, and the energy that she would like to be bringing into her life.

So, I suppose that we choose clothes for how we are feeling, and we also choose them for what we would like to become. In other words, our energy chooses the clothes, and we can also be transformed by the energy of the clothes.

People often ask me if there was a moment when I knew I was "better." And I think when I was first ill, I used to imagine that one day I would just wake up and be back to "normal." In fact, it wasn't like this at all for me. It was more that I would notice things gradually changing in my life.

I would notice that I was able to see more people, that I wasn't thinking so much about how many times I was going up and down the stairs, as I had the energy to do it as many times as I would like, and that I was more interested in things outside of myself - like what I was wearing, and even having a different haircut! And these signs grew and grew until I and the people around me realised I was "better."

And what has happened since that point is that I become more well, more alive and enjoy my life more and more. I believe that this is a lot because I continue to receive healings, and to prioritise using the healing tools I am writing about.