Snoring and Separate Bedrooms… Are They A Sign Of Lost Intimacy?

With over 90 million snorers in America, and studies showing up to 80% of couples sleeping in separate rooms when one partner snores, it is no wonder that builders and architects alike are reporting that more and more Americans are building homes with two master suites or are remodeling homes to include an additional master suite. In an article entitled, “To Have, Hold and Cherish, Until Bedtime” published in the New York Times in 2007, it was reported that in a survey by the National Association of Home Builders, the architects and builders who were surveyed predicted that “more tha
60% of custom homes would have dual master bedrooms by 2015.”

While separate bedrooms can provide a good night’s sleep and satisfy individual preferences for sleeping conditions, the downside is that they also minimize the time that a couple has for building intimacy by having ‘cuddle times’, talking and spending quiet time together. Couples who maintain separate bedrooms offer a variety of reasons for the decision, but snoring is often among those cited reasons. Yet many of these couples do not realize that there is another option and that snoring can be stopped (or at least managed). There is a wide range of help for snoring from lifestyle choices to anti snoring aids and from anti snoring devices to natural snoring remedies. Before a couple chooses to sleep in separate bedrooms, they do have the option of exploring a wide variety of cures for snoring.

Are separate bedrooms a positive choice or are they an easy way out where a couple doesn’t need to spend effort in finding out the causes of snoring and then dealing with the connection between snoring and relationships? It all depends on who you ask, but the couples who do maintain separate bedrooms and still have healthy, happy relationships emphasize the need to make the effort to create times for intimacy that are being lost because of the separate sleeping arrangements.

Snoring and intimacy are often at extreme odds of the spectrum, yet many of the reasons for snoring can be eliminated or cured so that snoring sufferers no longer have to deal with the affliction. Yet the sad fact of the matter is that couples often find other solutions—ones that impact their intimacy and therefore their relationship—before they tackle snoring, which is often the source of the problem. Once a couple recognizes the damage that snoring can and is doing to their relationship, instead of seeking out separate sleeping arrangements, they can work together to first understand the cause of snoring then look at the many solutions for snoring and find one that can restore their bedroom to the peaceful sanctuary for two that it is intended to be.

I refer to snoring as the 'silent relationship killer' in my new ebook “Is Snoring Destroying Your Relationship While You Sleep?” because couples are unaware or unwilling to acknowledge that snoring is affecting their relationship. Unfortunately, when snoring is accepted as a ‘given’ without any solution, couples deal with the symptom of snoring the only way they know how and that is to separate during the hours when the snoring occurs. Yet this is not a solution, because even if they can maintain intimacy with separate bedrooms, snoring is still taking place and snoring is not only an inconvenience when it comes to sleeping, it can also affect the physical health of the person who snores.

It is therefore, a much healthier choice for couples to first find out the causes behind the snoring, try out some snoring solutions and then if they still want separate bedrooms, snoring will no longer be the reason and they can continue to actively maintain the intimacy in their relationship.