Stop Trying to Be Successful

I know this sounds counter-intuitive, but here goes: STOP TRYING TO BE SUCCESSFUL!

I have a cousin, Larry, who lives in Los Angeles, and has fallen into the trap of trying to be a celebrity entrepreneur. Larry buys expensive clothes, is obsessed with sports cars, and always talks about money. Larry’s Facebook page is filled with photos of himself with random gorgeous women, or standing next to a sports car. Larry also has tons of credit card debt, and probably has more money going out then in.

My brother once asked me what I think of Larry. I told my brother that I think Larry looks like someone who is trying to appear successful. My brother looked perplexed, and asked me how I can consider Larry to be successful considering all of his debt. I clarified for my brother that I didn’t say that Larry was successful. I said he looks like someone who is trying to appear successful. My brother didn’t understand.

I gave my brother the analogy of a woman trying to look beautiful. She might try to wear trendy clothes, or add highlights to her hair, or wear tons of makeup. Doing all that doesn’t make her beautiful, it makes her look like she is trying to look beautiful. My brother still didn’t understand the difference.

I explained to my brother that our intentions and our state of being is what tend to communicate itself. If our state of being is and our intention is, “I am trying to look professional,” we actually don’t end up looking professional. We end up looking like someone who is “trying” to look professional. If we try to appear relaxed, it doesn’t actually relax us. Trying to look relaxed makes us look like a person “trying” to look relaxed. As we all know from high school, trying to look cool doesn’t make us look cool, and it doesn’t make us cool. It makes us look like we are “trying” to be cool, and that actually doesn’t look cool. Now my brother got it.

As the great, and wise Yoda once said, “Don’t try. Do.” Don’t try to be successful. Just be successful at everything you do. Don’t try to be an entrepreneur. Just make more money than you’re spending. Don’t try to be a creative artist. Tell yourself that you are already an artist, that you have a surplus of creativity, and just start creating. Don’t try to be beautiful. Accept you are already beautiful, feel beautiful, and be beautiful. If you are just trying to be something, you will look like you are just trying. Stop trying. Just do it. Just be it.