Surviving Infidelity: Self Care so You Can Make the Right Choices
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Surviving infidelity is the first challenge one faces after having been betrayed by your partner. It is crucial to do whatever you have to do to heal and regain your sense of self confidence. If you don't, your life may be overtaken by the hurt and rage you are experiencing.
Of course, cheating comes in lots of different shapes and forms. They all have one thing in common though. They all cause extreme pain. This holds true whether your partner was involved in a long-term romance with someone else, a one-night stand, or an affair that did not stray beyond the emotional level.
A good support network will get you through those first days of despair when the betrayal stings the most. Family and friends are often the key to survival in these situations because they will let you vent your feelings as much as you want. They will also surround you with love to help hasten the healing process.
It is also recommended to consult a counselor to deal with feelings of negativity if you can't overcome them on your own. Seeing a professional for help does not mean you are weak. It means you are determined to get on with your life in a meaningful way. Individual counseling is a good idea, even if you think it may be possible to remain with the partner who cheated.
The decision about whether to try to salvage the relationship requires a great deal of careful thought. Try to look at things from every conceivable angle, and don't be in a rush to decide. Sometimes it is just not possible to forgive, let alone forget.
Accountability on the part of the cheater is a key factor in whether or not the relationship can be saved. Your partner must be willing to be an open book and answer every single question you have about what happened and why. That is the only way to rebuild trust. Don't put your time or faith into someone who tries to blame you and is not remorseful.
The matter of surviving infidelity also involves practical issues. If your partner cheated physically, you may need to undergo tests for sexually transmitted diseases. There is no shame in this because it is not your fault. If you suspect there may be custody and support issues down the road, you should also get in touch with a lawyer. While no one wants to do these kinds of things, in surviving infidelity they are necessary evils.
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