Tension Tamers

It comes as no surprise, but stress isn’t good for you. Well of course, you knew that already but the question for most people is how to tame it. Here’s a secret I discovered: In actuality there is no such thing as a ‘stress thing’ outside of us. It is our interpretation of the events in our life that causes us to feel stressed or not.
Don’t believe me? Here’s an example: You’re rushing home and stop at the grocery store to pick up dinner and those few items you forgot the last time you were there. You’re already running late and just as you step through the sliding doors with a cart full of groceries it begins pouring rain and you don’t have your umbrella. Feeling stressed, you curse the rain. One town over there is a farmer who’s just about lost his corn crop because of a long drought. He’s standing outside as the rain begins to pour, his clothes are drenched, yet he stands with arms outstretched, his face turned towards the sky, a broad smile on his lips. Feeling grateful, he blesses the rain. Same event, different interpretations.
You might think; “well….okay…..but that’s not he same as being worried about losing your job or not being able to pay your bills.” And I would say, well maybe it is. Sometimes there is a gift yet to be unwrapped in what seems to be the most unfortunate situations. Maybe losing a job is an opportunity to discover what your real passion is in life. Maybe having money challenges invites you to create some new and exciting avenues of income. So you see it’s all about perception! In the meantime while you might be wrestling with these ideas, here are some tips to help tame the tension in your life.

1. Breathe

I bet you think you’re already doing this. Most of us are what is referred to as “shallow breathers.” Not to be confused with the Seinfeld Show’s “close talkers.” Deep breathing increases our vitality and promotes relaxation. Unfortunately, when we try to take a so-called deep breath, most of us do the exact opposite: we suck in our bellies and raise our shoulders. This is shallow breathing. When we starve ourselves of oxygen and don’t properly expel carbon dioxide, it can lead to many health problems. To breathe properly, you should be breathing into your stomach. It should expand when you breathe in and contract when you breathe out. And, make sure you breathe through your nose as much as you can. You will feel instantly more relaxed.

2. Prioritize

What is really essential that requires your immediate attention? Make two lists of all the tasks that need to be done. If you’re like me, making the list is in itself overwhelming, because my list includes about 100 action items. Never the less, make the lists. The first one will be your 10 “Action Needed Now” list in order of importance, from 1-10 with 1 being the most important. Be realistic –some of these items may even make it to list number 2. On list number 2 are all the things you would like to get to and eventually will, but can’t right now because you just prioritized!

3. Organize

Maybe this was one of the items on your 10 Action Needed Now list. You know the saying “messy house, messy mind.” I’m not sure which came first, but this saying is ironically true. De clutter your environment and your mind will follow. Depending on your level of clutter your approach can be one of two ways: If you don’t have a straight path from bedroom to bathroom, then buy some plastic bins, gather up everything and dump it all in the bins. Then schedule a few days when you can go through each bin and make a commitment to throw out, take care of, hang up or find it a home. If it is simply a messy desk or other small area that needs to be organized then schedule a time when you can be free of distractions and follow the same steps to throw out, etc. You might be wondering how you can keep it all organized. Well, a coach can be very helpful here!

4. Delegate and Barter

Now you know, you are not the only one who has to tackle everything on your to-do list. Enlist family or friends to help out. Maybe you can even barter something: your time, talent or product.

5. Say No!

This is a difficult word to say, especially for women. Give it a try. You don’t have to say yes to every request that is made of you. I promise that you won’t make life long enemies. And if you do, well it’s likely they didn’t care that much about you anyway.

5. Say Yes!

This is the second most difficult word for women to say when it comes to accepting help or gifts. Saying yes to offers from others to assist you will soothe your mind, your body and your soul. Saying yes to yourself in some form of self pampering is even more effective.

6. Have a Spiritual Anchor

Spirituality is best described as a perception of a connection to 'something bigger' than oneself. Do you have a belief in something that brings you great peace and tranquility? I hope so. Studies show that people who have some type of spiritual belief are generally more resilient and happier than those who don’t. I’m not necessarily speaking about organized religion although for some that works. I’m referring to a sense that even though we don’t have an explanation for all the unfortunate happenings in the world, we believe that perhaps there exists some type of ‘organized chaos’ that we don’t fully comprehend. Spiritual anchoring can bring a sense of purpose to your mind and your soul.

7. Count your Blessings

You’ve heard it over and over again, but it bears repeating. Think about the things in your life that you are most grateful for. You’re stressed about your job? Well, you know, how about being grateful you have a job! Right now that seems to be a scarce commodity. And sometimes your gratitude list can be as simple as being able to get out of bed in the morning.

6. Laugh

Perhaps you’ve heard of the healing power of laughter and the amazing story of Norman Cousins who wrote Anatomy of an Illness. His story began in 1964, when he was diagnosed with a condition known as Ankylosing Spondylitis. The doctors speculated that his chance of survival was approximately 1 in 500. Faced with the real prospect of his impending death, Cousins thought long and hard about what role, if any he could play in his own recovery, and eventually did three things utterly contrary to medical opinion. The first was to receive injections of extremely large doses Vitamin C. The second was to check himself out the hospital and into a hotel room. Cousin’s had concluded that a hospital was “no place for a person who is seriously ill.” The third thing Cousin’s did was procure a movie projector and a large supply of funny films, including numerous Candid Camera tapes and several old prints of Marx Brother’s movies. On his first night in the hotel Cousins found that he laughed so hard at the films that he was able to stimulate chemicals in his body that allowed him several hours of pain free sleep and in addition his blood sedimentation rate, a key measurement of inflammation and infection in the blood, dropped by at least 5 points each time he watched one of these videos. Within a few weeks Cousins was back to work at the Saturday Evening Review, and, although he still had some minor physical difficulties, his body continued to recover as he continued with his self- directed wellness program.

7. Hang out with Happy people!

Make a commitment to not be a member of the “Woundology Club” where everyone commiserates about how unhappy they are and how life is just so unfair. Happiness and laughter are just as contagious as negativity and sadness. Optimistic people have a way of raising our spirits just by their presence. If you have happy friends, spend more time with them and if you don’t find some.

8. When all else fails…… eat Chocolate!

Truthfully, there are even more ways to eliminate stress in your life and change your perceptions, but I think these 8 tips are a wonderful place to begin!

Namaste,
Michele Landers