The Female Bully and the Codependent: “A Smelly Turd in a Pretty Package”

Physical/aggressive bullying is easy to identify. We can all see the broken bones, blood, and bruises. This type of bullying is most often chosen by men.

As a therapist, it is usually pretty easy for me to ask certain questions to get the information that physical abuse is indeed happening. The real work comes when we have to identify the covert bully who may be setting the victim up to receive physical abuse or emotionally abusing someone. Covert bullying is usually chosen by women. Remember, either sex can do either type of bullying, but we are going to discuss the female serial family bully who choses covert bullying in this series.

I am also questioning a connection between codependency and bullying. Many codependents have such a dysfunctional relationship with anger, it begs the question: do some use bullying as a way to express their anger? If I cannot have an honest conversation when I have a different opinion, how can I possibly take a stand, engage in clarifying conversations, debate, acknowledge to myself or anyone else my jealousy and insecurity, or engage in life in a healthy way which includes expressing my anger?

Continue reading here: www.recovery.org/pro/articles/the-female-bully-and-the-codependent-a-smelly-turd-in-a-pretty-package/