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The Holidays are a Perfect Time to Reflect and Contemplate How to Develop a Successful Intimate Relationship

Written by Doron Gil, Ph.D.

Topic: Relationship AdvicePublished Recently added
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Have you ever learned in school how to develop a successful relationship? Have your parents ever given you a good example? And, most of all: what makes you think you know how to succeed in an intimate relationship? Well, if you find yourself failing time and again, you know the answer: you don’t know. The question then becomes: how can you learn to develop a successful relationship? It isn’t easy to develop a successful intimate relationship – but it IS possible! Whether you are single wishing to have a successful intimacy or in a relationship wishing to make it better or leave and develop a better one, there is no better time than the Holidays to reflect upon the past and deciding what changes to make. Hoping to have a good relationship next year might be a motivating force in doing so. What does it take to know how to develop a satisfying relationship? There is a saying: “All you need is love”. But love by itself is not sufficient to have a successful relationship. What is important is to understand what you have done wrong until now which led you to fail in your relationships. And in order to do that “all you need is Self-Awareness” . That means: understanding a host of factors which have driven you to sabotage your success with relationships until now. Apparently you were not aware of these factors; otherwise you would have taken steps to make the necessary changes long ago. What do these factors entail? * It might well be that you are driven by fears you are unaware of, which harm your relationships (such as: fear of being alone; fear of commitment; fear of being hurt and other fears, all of which drive you to behave in self-sabotaging ways with your dates and/or partners). * Or you have bottomless needs (such as: need to be loved; need to satisfy others; need to be acknowledged and appreciated and other needs, all of which drive you to behave in unhealthy ways within a relationship). * Or maybe you have unsolved issues related to your parents and/or previous partners (such as: anger; revenge; feelings of incompetency and others, all of which exert power over you and drive you to hurt yourself and harm your relationships). * Or maybe the messages you received while growing up about partners, love and relationships come now to haunt you (such as: “I am always right”; “I should always be in control”; “There is no reason to compromise” and others, all of which affect your attitudes and behaviors and disable you from being flexible in your relationships). * And many other factors that exert power over you which until now you have been unaware of. When you develop Self-Awareness, become aware of these factors and of the ways they affect you, you can then take the necessary steps to make a change in your attitudes and behaviors, and thererefor become empowered to find a partner and develop a successful intimacy. The holiday season is a perfect time to reflect, contemplate, become aware and change. Wouldn’t you take this time to ensure that next year will be a great one in terms of your intimate relationship?

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About the Author

Doron Gil, Ph.D., an expert on Self-Awareness and Relationships, has written numerous articles on the topic and is the author of: “The Self-Awareness Guide to a Successful Intimate Relationship: Understanding Why You Fail in Your Relationships Over and Over Again and Learning How to Stop it!” Available as eBook and paperback: http://www.amazon.com/Self-Awareness-Guide-Successful-Intimate-Relationship/dp/143925141X/

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