The secret to keeping your resolution for a CHANGE
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Every year on December 31st, people all over the world make New Year’s resolutions. Millions of people wake up thinking, “This is the day I am going to do things differently!”
They yearn for a new beginning and hate themselves when, after a few weeks their resolutions fail.
Why do they fail? Because in trying to bring about change in their lives, people reach for the only tool they think they have: willpower, forcing themselves to change. Most often, unfortunately, the will fights back…and wins.
Look at dieting for example. In America, about 109 million dollars are spent on dieting and on diet products every day (Us department of Health and Human Services)
Nearly two thirds of Americans are overweight. 25 percent of American men and 45 percent of American women are presently on a diet.Sadly, only 5 percent will lose the weight and keep it off.
What is wrong in the picture? Why is it so difficult to change?
Change is only possible when we begin to understand that it is futile to willfully struggle against our habitual patterns of behavior.
You see, we are creatures of habits and our minds will do anything it can to keep us in our comfort zones away from the unfamiliar and the uncomfortable. This is known as
”pain/pleasure principle” which is being experienced when the mind automatically moves us away from pain and toward pleasure and ease. When we tell ourselves “I should go n a diet” or “I must… I have to” immediately, our minds perceive it as painful and react by effectively stopping us from making our desired change. In other words, it is the mind’s protective mechanism that seeks to return us to our comfort zones, even when that acquired comfort zone is unhealthy and potentially harmful in the long run.
So what are we to do? Are we doomed to remain prisoners of our unwanted habits and behaviors? not at all. The secret is to make our minds enjoy what we desire to change.
Change your focus and you shall change your reality. Simply choose to focus on your desired outcome engaging the power of your imagination and of positive emotions.
This means, picturing having reached your desired goal, feeling good about yourself, feeling proud, in charge of your life again, liberated from the past and victorious.
It is strongly believed that the mind does not know the difference between what is real or just imagined. So take advantage of this, and begin to “think yourself changed”. The actual process is simple and is divided into three components. First, develop a deep state of relaxation, called “Alpha” an indispensable state to access the subconscious, which is also considered to be the only part of the brain where the seed for a new desired habit can be planted. Then in that peaceful state, get ready to project on an imaginary mental screen which I call the “screening room” all the vivid details of your new desired behavior. The more specific your visualization is, the better and will ensure the success of this practice, Finally, in the last stage, remember to include powerful positive words which I like to consider as “declarations” and that, when repeated will not only create an hypnotic response, but will also in the future, activate the memory of this joyful experience. The words I recommend to use are: “I choose to create this experience, I believe that I can, victory to me, victory is mine”.
Be aware, repetition is critical to the success of the “screening room” practice. Neuroscience tells us that daily repetition for 21 days is what is recommended to create a new pathway to the brain, responsible for our new habitual pattern of behavior.
No doubt, this is powerful material to absorb and can be challenging at first. Realizing that transformation begins in our minds, knowing that thoughts create our destiny and that we have the power to become the master of our lives, can also be the ideal way to begin the year. For a change, prepare yourself to throw out the “gotta, oughts, should’s” part of your resolution, and instead decide to embrace the “I choose.. I desire. I can… I do”. This, I promise , will lead you to victory and success in your life.
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About the Author
Wellness/Stress Management coach Edwige Gilbert is founder of New Life Directions (www.newlifedirectons.com) and author of “The Fresh Start Promise: 28 Days to Total Mind, Body, Spirit Transformation.” For the last 25 years she has worked with individuals and groups, conducting seminars, retreats and lectures around the world. Her forte is teaching people how to transform stress into strength, clear unwanted habits and live healthier lives filled with “Joie de Vivre”. Edwige has taught at prominent health clubs, corporations, hospitals, substance abuse centers, and industry events. Her private clients have included business and media leaders as well as mothers-to-be and adolescents. In addition to a seminar and workshop agenda, Edwige has designed multi-faceted stress management programs for corporate clients, including Citigroup, Verizon, Lehman Brothers, MTV and the Corcoran group.
Edwige has created a unique blend of Eastern and Western techniques such as life-coaching Yoga and hypnosis. She believes in the integration of physical, mental and spiritual elements which guide individuals to discover their unlimited energy resources and become the person they always wanted to be: strong focused, confident, and filled with Joie de vivre (french for Joy of life).
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