The True Art of Giving

Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, New Year’s and possibly Valentine’s Day… ‘tis the season to be giving. On the one hand, yippee! I love both giving and receiving. On the other hand, I can’t help feeling exhausted in advance with all the shopping, money, stress and time required to fulfill what I have imposed on myself as my holiday duty.

The real giving is about activity, not objects; it comes from the heart, from your time and energy, skills and talents, from your desire to connect with and please the people who are important in your life. Just as the Greeks used the same work for ‘host’ and ‘guest’, giving is a relationship between the giver and the receiver, and both need to play their parts for the act of giving to have meaning.

Like every other part of the universe, we live by cycles. Our traditions reflect the natural cycles that surround us. It’s important that at the New Year you clear out your inner garden. Spring is the time to plant the seeds for what you want to develop and create in the coming year. These are nurtured and tended throughout the summer, and you look for your harvest in the fall. Thanksgiving is our social cue for celebrating that harvest, and marking the way we store our blessings for the winter. Christmas (or Hanukkah, or the winter solstice) is when we share that bounty with others. So there is a spiritual component to our gifts and giving at this season.

In this respect, it’s important to give open-handedly, rather than because it’s a button you need to push in order to get something back. In my world, we say that the nature of God is to give. God lives to give, and gives to live. So when you are giving, you are taking part in whatever part of the divine nature resides in you. In that sense, it really is more blessed to give than to receive – and more fun, too.

Of course, those giving can only do so if we also learn how to receive gracefully. All my knitting and baking doesn’t go anywhere if those I want to give to are so bent on giving themselves, that they cannot allow my gifts to enter their lives. Have you ever presented some great gift, only to be met with ‘Oh, you shouldn’t have!’ and they actually mean it? How frustrating is that? If you are unable to receive, get over it right now. If you want to keep the giving-and-receiving cycle going, make sure you are receiving as gracefully and thankfully as you can.

With giving, there is always an element of reciprocity. The recipients may or may not give you presents in return, but they will always give something back in terms of their gratitude, pleasure and recognition that you have spent your precious time and ingenuity thinking about them and their tastes, desires or needs. We all love to be appreciated, and gifts are just one way to express that to each other.

Finally, generosity is its own reward. Whatever you focus on expands in your life; that’s why angry people always find more to annoy them, and fearful people attract exactly what they are afraid of. Well, it works the other way, too: when you focus on what you can give, it puts you at the vibration of giving rather than (for example) petty-mindedness or keeping score. Through generosity, you keep yourself afloat on the sea of abundance, naturally resonating with other generous people. If you can find a way to give that you enjoy in the process (like making things for your friends and family) and also can give with an open heart, it’s like planting the seeds of generosity in your interior garden. You may not get an immediate return, but in time those seeds will surely give you a harvest many times larger than your original effort or intention. Would you like to have more generosity in your life? Plant the seeds by making your gifts a pleasure, a passion, and a perfect expression of your own generosity of heart.