Article

Use Anger Productively: A 5 Step Process

Written by Laurie Weiss

Topic: Relationship AdvicePublished Recently added
No ratings yet3,001 viewsSign in to rate

Anger is neither good nor bad! It is simply energy.

It is your natural emotional energy that arises when you feel like something (or someone) is blocking you from getting what you need or want. For this purpose, anything on the frustration to rage continuum is considered anger.

Without making any judgments about whether you should need or want any particular thing, here is how you can direct your own supercharged energy.

1. Notice that you're angry. Sometimes it is unmistakable -- if you didn't restrain yourself you would be yelling or getting physical -- and getting yourself into trouble. Sometimes it is more subtle: a clenched jaw that almost feels normal, an ache in your gut, tight shoulders, or just snapping at people who haven't done anything wrong.

2. Figure out why you are angry. Again, sometimes it is obvious, and sometimes it is hidden in a jumble of normal activities.

Perhaps many small frustrations have added up to one massive headache.

3. Think about what would need to change for your angry feelings to dissolve completely and be replaced with satisfaction. Sometimes it is a simple as an apology. Sometimes nothing short of a massive change in your environment will do the trick.

4. Use your energy to strategize how you can arrange to make the change happen. If the necessary change is too big to manage all at once, think about a small piece of the bigger change where you can make an impact now.

5. Take the first step. Maybe it is working on a physical task for 15 minutes to begin to clean up a mess. Maybe it is asking someone to do something differently! It doesn't matter how big or small that first step is-do something now!

Your focused angry energy is powerful. Keep using it to push for the changes that will make a real difference for you.

Article author

About the Author

Laurie Weiss, Ph.D., author of Dare To Say It!, is an internationally known executive coach, psychotherapist, and author. For more simple secrets for turning difficult conversations into opportunities for cooperation and success, visit www.DareToSayIt.com or email: feedback@laurieweiss.com

Further reading

Further Reading

4 total

Article

The early development of avoidant attachment creates a coping mechanism that forms in childhood. Disconnected parent-child interactions typically trigger this condition. People who develop this attachment style learn to depend on their resources. They avoid deep emotional connections. People with this attachment style want intimacy, yet they remain afraid of becoming dependent on others. Understanding Avoidant Attachment Among the four primary attachment styles, avoidant atta

February 6, 2025

Article

So, you want to Play swinging? Do you like the idea of having sex with several attractive people, with no strings attached? Want the chance to explore your fantasies with like-minded people? Love having the intimacy and long-term commitment of your partner, but don't want to miss out on the opportunity for sexual exploration and variety? If this sounds like something you'd like to try, the increasingly popular lifestyle known as 'swinging' could be for you. What's so shocking

August 29, 2024

Article

Web-based swapping dating services can help you find a long-term swap relationship in the comfort of your home. These types of services can provide singles with information about like-minded people and help them get in touch with other couples. To use dating expertise, you need to register together. When registering to use the service, you need to provide more information as well as your contact information and interests. Maintaining your information conveniently will help yo

August 29, 2024

Article

The idea of making yourself more desirable by making yourself less available doesn't make a lot of sense when you think about it. After all, Juliet would have plunged a premature dagger into the heart of her romance with Romeo if she hid in her room rather than go out on her balcony. The end of Sleepless in Seattle shifts from "awww" to "aw, no" if one of the two main characters skips the trip to the Empire State Building. As these examples from fiction show, making yourself

August 16, 2024