What do Women Want from Men in and Out of the Bedroom

This is an age-old question that has been asked for decades and more. According to one woman’s opinion, Dana Perch a professional matchmaker, women want a man who is self-confident.

“Confidence... not arrogance, not dominance, not one-upsmanship, not useless bravado, not macho heroics. Women just love truly confident men,” she says.

Women love to be around a man who has an attitude of confidence. This does not mean he will always feel confident in every situation, or not be venerable or have feelings it is just something that he expresses with his energy. Confidence simply says, “I can deal with this, I can handle it.”

Today it is often confusing for a man to recognize for himself what turns a woman on, primarily because women, especially younger women, often look at status symbols like the type of car, job, house or bank account a man may have. But these status symbols actually represent a man who must have some confidence even it does get lost in the symbols themselves. Instinctually, women look for clues about a man’s self-confidence and to some degree the type of car he drives is a clue.

So if it is man’s confidence that turns a woman on then wouldn't it also make sense that an attitude of confidence would arouse hr sexual desire or at least attract her. Of course when I speak of this from a sexual point of view I am referring to a man’s sexual confidence. Sexual confidence comes from knowing that you are at ease with your own sexuality, in control of your own sexual desires and energy and that you are a good lover. This can apply to a woman or a man but when a man exudes an aura of sexual self-confidence about himself, I find it is very attractive. I personally can feel this as well as see it. It could be translated as, “I am the master of my own sexual energy”. Again, it is not bravado, or arrogance or even being over confident. A man who is comfortable with his own sexual energy, who feels in control of his energy and that he is the master of it, and not the other way around, is able to offer a woman his full presence.

A wonderful movie called, Bliss, shows a sex therapist played by Terrance Stamp, with this type of confidence. When a man takes the time to study Tantric lovemaking, which means he first learns how to make love to himself and then to a woman, something shifts for him. He goes from being a man who needs a woman to fulfill him sexually, to a man who takes responsibility for his own sexual satisfaction. He then no longer feels he has to perform for her, which is really about proving to himself that he is a good love
but rather can drop that attitude and just really engage with his partner with his full presence.

Most men allow their sexual energy to run them. Their “cocks” lead the way and their energy is all over the place. It leaks out to women in various ways and is often felt as slimy, or over sexed, needy and pushy to women. A man who walks into a room and is looking to get “laid” has that hungry look about him. His sexual energy is pouring out of him uncontrolled.

A sexually self-confident who walks in a room is just being present and does not need anything from anyone but especially not from a woman. He is not looking to get his sexual needs met and even if he is feeling sexy, he is in control of his energy not his penis. This is a man that no longer needs a woman to feel sexually satisfied. Now if you are a man and reading this, you may be thinking that you like needing a woman to satisfy you sexually. I am not saying that you don’t want to make love with a woman or that that experience isn’t also very satisfying. I am only saying that you know that you are fully responsible for your own energy and therefore you know you can satisfy yourself first which frees you from the belief that you need a woman to have sex with and to feel sexually fulfilled. This freedom translates into sexual self-confidence which then is felt by women.

This goes for women as well. A woman who exudes sexual self-confidence is a woman is owns her sexual energy and does not feel she needs a man to satisfy her. Her confidence comes from within herself which is very attractive to a man.

Developing your sexual self-confidence is not that difficult. It is a learned thing and only requires that you take the time to cultivate mastering your sexual energy. If you are willing to be your own best love
first, to take full responsibility for your sexual satisfaction and your sexual energy then you will become even more irresistible to women.