What If You Were 5?

Attempting to set and achieve goals under stress and worry doesn't work.

If the words in your head are saying something like, "I really have to have $5,000 before the end of July or I won't have the tuition to send Mary to College! What on earth is going to happen if I don't get it? I reallllly need it, I better set a goal quickly and hope and pray that it turns up", then you set to imagining all kinds of unwanted scenarios from now to the end of July, you need some help to rearrange your perspective.

Many of us, including myself, learned that to worry and fret and stress yourself out was the only way to 'guarantee' that you would get what you wanted in life. Life was 'hard' work, or we adopted some limiting beliefs about ourselves, and we were fearful that we would not be successful. That fear took the form of constant worry which became stress, which became physical illness, sleeplessness, etc. etc.

I mean, jeepers, if you stretch an elastic band at its maximum long enough, it's gonna break! Or lose its ability to 'bounce back', or maybe just rot and disintegrate. Ugh.

OK, let's see about finding you that new perspective. It's really not hard. Remember playing with a kaleidoscope when you were a kid? When you put it to your eye you saw a beautiful pattern of multi colours. Then you turned the end of it just a tiny fraction of an inch and the entire picture changed. Well, life can be just like that. Even the slightest shift can bring you an entirely new picture.

Worry and fret are habitual. In order to change one habit, you need to create another habit. A healthy one. The next time you realize you are stuck in 'worry' mode, ask yourself the question, "What if I were 5, what would I do right now?" Worry does not come naturally to five year olds!

When I posed this question to one of my coaching clients she said she would go and colour. Wow, what if you got yourself a colouring book and a large package of crayons (lots of variety) and sat down and coloured a page when you were stressed out?! And here's the real trick: you can only think about colouring….the shades, the method, the feel of the crayon in your hand, the smell of the paper and the crayons, etc. Stay present, gently move aside any worry thoughts that may try to muscle in. And breathe. Stressed out people forget to breathe!

Now what else does a five year old do?

• ride a bike
• play dress up
• skip
• play ball
• (TV watching not allowed)
• play with the pet
• have a tea party
• play an instrument
• put up a lemonade stand
• make angels in the snow

I know you can think of many more habits.

When I was five, I lived in a fairly isolated, forested area on the ocean. I loved exploring the paths (except when a garter snake suddenly appeared and my scream scared it more than it scared me) along the wooded areas next to the water, picking huckleberries, visiting the waterfall, watching the sunlight filter through the leaves and dance on the mossy ground. Butterflies and insects were fascinating. Even the rain was fun. Everything was an adventure.

Now, I can't 'be' there physically, but I can in my imagination. I can go for a walk anywhere and imagine that I am on my wooded paths. And you can go anyplace you want to in your imagination too.

If you don't have a bike, go get a second hand one. Dress up in some clothes that are mismatched, unfashionable, too small or too large and laugh at yourself. Skip rope and sing one of those silly songs (sure you remember) and don't forget to do "pepper". Bounce a ball against the side of the house, it's your house now and no parent is going to come out and tell you that you are causing the rising bread to fall.

Buy a child's tea set and have a tea party with yourself. Maybe not put up a lemonade stand, but make lemonade from scratch. If you don't have an instrument to play, put a tissue over a comb and go for it.

If you are the middle-of-the-night worrier, get up and read a story book that was one of your childhood favourites, cuddle with your pet. Pets never worry or fret and are always in the now.

Get the idea?

Keeping present is what is necessary in whatever you do. Be aware of all your senses and brush aside any thoughts that distract you. Stay in your five year old little self. Not only will you bring some fun into your life, but you will be taking a vacation from the stress and worry, improve your physical health, sleep better, and get yourself out of the way of the Universe and allow it to do the work necessary to manifest your goals. After all, when an employer assigns you a job, does he/she do it for you? Not!

Set your goals from a deep passion within not out of desperation or need, always remembering that within you is the five year old kid that is just bursting to get out!