What's Your Problem?

Have you ever had the experience where you spent a lot of time focusing on and trying to resolve a particular problem, only to find that it wasn’t really the problem?

In more than 11 years of working with clients, I can say that in every case, what they think is the problem is never really the issue at all. When you’re going through some particular life issue or challenge, think of it as being like an iceberg. What you see on the surface is really only the smallest part, underneath the surface there’s a LOT more going on that you don’t see.

What you focus on as being ‘the problem’ is simply the outward manifestation of whatever else is going on beneath the surface. It shows up in your life as a symptom – but it isn’t the real problem. To get to that, you need to go deeper. To do that, you need to be able to stop focusing on it and put your attention elsewhere. Some helpful questions to consider that will help you get to what’s at the core of the issue could be:

• What’s the lesson in this situation? What am I to learn from this?n • Is there something in my life I need to change or do differently or let go of?n • How does this situation/issue/challenge make me feel? What do those feelings represent?n • How would my life be different if I didn’t have this issue?n • Can I be at peace with this situation? What will it take for me to be at peace with this situation?

If you look on a life crisis, challenge or negative situation in this way – something that you can learn from – it can change everything. This situation, whatever it is, has shown up in your life for a reason. It has a purpose. When you look at it that way, it helps you to stop fighting it and come to a place of acceptance. When you accept it, not only do you feel better, but very often one of the following can happen:

• You feel better, more peaceful, less stressed
• The problems resolves without any effort
• What ultimately comes out of the situation turns out to be much better than you could have possibly thought
• You stop wasting energy on resistance, not only will this help you to feel better and give more energy to things that are important to you, it will have a much more positive impact on your health.

What you see as a major problem is also a matter of perspective. To somebody else, the situation that you are so upset and frustrated about may be something they would be extremely happy about. For example, if you are just devastated because you’ve gained ten pounds and can’t seem to lose it, someone who needs to lose forty pounds or more may look at you and think you’re nuts. They would LOVE to only have ten pounds to worry about.
So the next time you find yourself thinking about a problem that’s appeared in your life, try asking yourself the questions mentioned above. Take the time to stick your head beneath the water to check out the rest of the iceberg, rather than just concentrating on the bit that you see. I think you’ll be amazed at the results.