What Score Are Parents Keeping?

Many parents notice only their child's negative behaviors and begin keeping account of them as a score record of wrongdoing or bad behavior. This process could actually encourage more of the same behavior instead of their intended opposite. When a child enters this world and their spirit enters the physical realm they begin to feel the negative vibrations around them whether those vibrations are directed at them or not. You have probably heard the term of being jaded which could be attributed to the notion that the longer we exist here on earth the more negativity we are exposed to in our lives. A child's alignment with source is actually stronger than most adults because they are so new to this world of negativity. Over time our attention to all the things we do not want has caused us to move farther away from our source.

This is a summarizing of the topic on relationships from the new book, The Vortex, by Abraham-Hicks, which discusses the thought that two individuals, parent and child, are actually vibrating on different levels at times. The parent concentrates and focuses on the unwanted behavior and draws attention of it to the child. The child, who is actually better at aligning with source, is holding to their inner guidance system. The child's emotion becomes negative from the unwanted vibration that is now the opposite of source's approval and appreciation of him and this results in discord. This is a cycle that is repeated over and over in a growing child's life. Usually the parent is coming from a place of misalignment with source when dealing with the child.

A difficult or stubborn child is actually one who holds fast to their awareness of their alignment with source. They have a strong inner guidance system which is often labeled "strong-willed." Abraham-Hicks goes on to say that "the moment you are influenced to deviate from your awareness of your own value, then the most powerful desire that flows from you is to reconnect to that value." They further proclaim that (by means of law of attraction) as we humans become aware of what we do not want, we launch "rockets of desire" for what we do want. When a child is summoned to focus on their flaws and misconduct then their most powerful push-back to the parent is to reconnect to their innate value and self-worth thus creating resistance to the negative vibration now present. As the parent desires a different behavior from the child and points out the undesired rather than the desired outcome, they could in fact be birthing more of the same unwanted behavior. This goes back to focusing on what we do want rather than what we do not want.

Through the process of being refined into a parent's desired behavior for them, the child often begins to exhibit people pleasing skills. They want to please their parents and others and therefore over time can lose that connection with their source who loves and appreciates them for who they are. We all know people pleasers and have actively taken part in this behavior ourselves at times. In doing this, we also know how frustrated one can become in trying to please someone else all the time. It is paramount to us as parents and guardians to allow our children to keep and hold alignment with their source, self value and self worth. By squelching their own inner guidance to who they are, we could kill their spirit. This is similarly described in Dr. James Dobson's book "The Strong Willed Child" when he refers to breaking their will.

Remember that focusing on the self worth and value that is inherent in your child from birth is the art of allowing them to be who they are. Noticing their strengths, gifts and uniqueness actually fertilizes their growth. If you want to keep score of something, then make note of how many times you are able to remember what you do want for them and what good qualities you do see in them. That is the score that will make the difference in the end.