When You Understand the Reasons for Your Failed Relationships You Become Able to Develop a Successful Intimacy

It is very likely that if you have been failing tine and again to develop a successful relationships it means, you don’t know what you do wrong. Consequently, you keep doing the same “mistakes” over and over again. When you get a grip on what makes you sabotage your attempts you can change and become able to develop a successful intimacy.

THE REASONS FOR YOUR FAILED RELATIONSHIPS MIGHT BE MANY

You may come up with many reasons to justify the fact that you haven’t been successful until now. You might be telling yourself that you have been too busy pursuing a career; that you didn’t actually want a serious relationship; that “the right person” hasn’t come your way until now.

But is it really so? Or could it be that the reasons for your failed attempts are different, ones you have not been aware of until now, or refused to admit?

THE TRUE REASONS FOR YOUR FAILED RELATIONSHIPS

Looking carefully inwards, being honest and true with yourself, you might find out, for example, that:

* You have been operating under the belief that having a relationship will damage your professional career. Such a belief might in turn lead you to develop a fear of commitment.

* You might have been driven by the fear of being hurt, therefore avoiding having a relationship (in spite of claiming that you desire to have one);

* You might have been driven by messages you were unaware of, ranging from “independence is more important than having a relationship” or that “self-fulfilment comes before family and relationships”. Even though you might not have been aware of these messages, they nonetheless sabotaged your attempts at relationships.

* You might have been too eager to have a relationship, out of neediness to beloved and to have a partner, that you might have gone out with people who were not right for you, in which you insisted of seeing a “potential partner”. After a while, however, they have left you, leaving you disappointed and frustrated once again.

Whichever the story of your relationships is, getting to understand what makes you fail and what you need to do in order to succeed is the key to developing a successful intimacy.

THE PRICE YOU PAY WHEN YOU ARE NOT AWARE

If you have failed in your relationships until now, it is very likely that you can’t identify what is preventing you from developing a satisfying one. The only thing that you know is that you do want such a relationship. But damn! What stands in your way?

If you would have known the answer, you would have known how to go about developing a relationship. But at the present time you just don’t know what stands in your way. And as long as you don’t, there is no reason to believe you will be able to make the necessary changes leading to having a successful bond.

HOW CAN YOU FIND OUT WHAT STANDS IN YOUR WAY FROM DEVELOPING A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP?

My answer is simple: if you honestly and sincerely wish to find out what stands in your way from having a successful relationship, you need to acknowledge and accept the ways in which you might be shooting yourself in the foot, the ways in which you might be sabotaging your attempts.

The best way to doing so is to develop Self-Awareness: get to understand that many factors which might exert power over you and make you harm your attempts time and again. Gaining this understanding will enable you to realize how to combat the power these factors have over you and understand what you need to change in order to develop a successful and healthy relationship.