Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

Werner Erhard said: You are not limited to the person you wound up being, the person you think you are. Who you currently know yourself to be is just a way of being. It is not who you are authentically.

So who are you “authentically”? Ever contemplate that? Are you satisfied with, as Erhard says, “your way of being”? Is that way of being getting you what you want out of life? And if not, what will it take for you to begin to transform who you are being for who you can become? There is nothing wrong with you, you probably have a great life, I did, but are you satisfied? That is the real question. If you are satisfied then reading the rest of this article will be a waste of your time.

I have no idea who you are “authentically”, but you do, the real you, not your identity/persona (the person you wound up being), but your heart. Your heart cuts through all the bullshit and won’t lie to you. Your mind will not serve you in matters of the heart (authenticity). Your mind is conce
ed with getting it right, and looking good, to yourself and others. Your head will not take you where your heart wants to go.

It is rare to find a person who follows their heart. When you see one, they are full of life and passion. John Lennon and Muhammad Ali come to mind. These people do not seem to care what others think of them, they have other priorities.

I have come to allow my heart and soul to express who I am, and it really doesn’t matter to me what others think. I am mindful to practice that “authenticity” and not let the trappings of my mind tell me what I can and can’t do or be. Even in my daily business decisions and coaching sessions. I thought I had to have it all thought out and together, and that it mattered what people thought of me. Through practice I have gotten my mind’s need to know, to be right, to compare and judge, and to be accepted, out of the way (for the most part). I know today pretty quickly when I am being authentic and when not. I can feel it in my gut and I trust that. If it doesn’t feel right I look to see how I am out of alignment with my values and heart’s desires. The struggles of making the right decision, of prevailing, of fearing and regretting a possible mistake, and of what the future might bring, have mostly disappeared.

In 2005 my life was going great. I had done a lot of work to transform myself. I had done 1-1/2 years of Psychotherapy, Meditation, Various Groups, Channeling, Retreats, Sweat Lodges, Ontological Trainings, Landmark Education and much more……I had been extensively trained and certified, by a prestigious coach training program. I was coaching clients to greatness and to fulfilling their dreams. I was living what seemed to be a great life, and at 50 I had a heart attack.

For some reason beyond me at that time, it seemed “authentic” and natural that my heart was grabbing my attention and saying “hello, Darby, follow me, you are headed in the wrong direction”! It took a heart attack because I was not listening.

I had had other tragedies in my life like two excruciating divorces, two major corporations I had staked my future on go bankrupt, surviving Cancer and radiation treatments and I could go on….

There was no fear with this tragedy. Not this time as in the past. There was no why me, no what am I going to do now, no I don’t have time for this! No panic. No playing victim this time.

I had to go through all the above tragedies to get to where I am today, it is as if those things happened for me instead of happened to me. I am listening to my heart today and it seems to have a plan for me that my mind just does not comprehend. Sometimes my friends and family don’t understand either. I don’t have to comprehend such matters and it is ok with me if others don’t either. Again, the mind won’t take you where the heart wants to go. I have learned to use my mind for what it is more suited to like calculating, reading, answering emails… My mind still runs away with me from time to time but I can very quickly get to what is going on in my head by getting back to my breath and my heart.

Just before my heart attack I was introduced to Integrative Coaching, a very powerful approach to coaching and transformation. I fell in love with it, I didn’t know why at the time. I was already certified as a coach and was fulfilled with the difference I was making in my clients lives.

Within a few weeks of being introduced to Integrative Coaching I had my heart attack. I did not resist while I was having the heart attack, while undergoing all the tests, the consultation with the surgeon, or the surgery. In fact I surrendered, probably for the first time in my life and began to let my heart lead me. Who I thought I was started to unravel at that point.

Within another few weeks I had quit my job to become a full time coach. My plan had been to continue to work at my job and to slowly build my coaching business. I started saying no to things I thought I had to say yes to. I started saying yes to things I thought I should say no to.

One of the things I said yes to was to get trained to become and Integrative Coach. I had to do this inner work and practice it with my clients. I knew it was my heart that wanted me to do this work of healing. Against the advice of my coach at the time I went back to school. Over the next two years I got two certifications in Integrative Coaching from John F. Kennedy University of Pleasant Hill, CA. In this work I have transformed my experience of life. The power and clarity with which I live life is amazing to me.

I take this clarity into the other business I started 2 years ago. The Trucking industry has been in a recession for quite a while, my sales in that business have dropped 50% and yet I am not afraid. I choose who I will do business with. If it doesn’t feel right I say no to that deal even though it will cause a loss of income. I do the same in my coaching business. I work with people I want to work with, who are motivated and will do the work to transform their lives.

Albert Einstein said, “We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them”. If you will allow Poetic License here, I interpret this to mean that we have to bring a higher consciousness to our beliefs, concepts, and habits (the problem), if we are to become, as Werner Erhard said, who we are authentically.

From all the work and training I have done, I have learned that what I was seeing and experiencing in my life at that time was not separate from my inner world; all that unrecognized, unresolved past. That unresolved stuff was a filter I ran all my experiences through. I was not being “authentically” Darby Barclay, but a story of who I thought I was. I have come to see that I was actually experiencing everything through the filter of my own past. My beliefs, hurts, defenses, and superstitions, became a template for my future and I kept attracting things I didn’t want. I wasn’t in control, “it” was.

Until you investigate and integrate “it”, those things in your past that you have buried and that still control your thoughts, actions, and who you think that you are, you will continue to do the same old stuff and wonder why you are not happy and fulfilled. You will continue to seed your present and future with your unresolved past.

I coach people to do this very thing; to investigate, and integrate their “it”. I have done it and you can too. Visit my website @ www.darbybarclay.com and you will see how it works. It starts by trusting your heart. Your heart only knows what is right for you. It does not know your story, beliefs, or wounds. Your heart just is. It is your mind that is conce
ed with the past, and anxious about the future. Head knowledge is one thing and heart is another. That is why you can read all the books, go to all the seminars and programs…….. And, you will still have “it”. Or, “it” will still have you is probably more accurate. You must engage your heart.

Any trained coach can support you in objectives, action plans and holding you accountable for doing those actions. Depending on your motivation, and the coach’s skill you may fulfill the objectives, and reach the goal/s, but unless you have gotten the crap of your past out of the way you will most likely return to your old patterns once the coaching relationship ends. You will continue to seed your future with your unresolved past.

Work with me and you will heal your heart, you will integrate your past, and start to seed your future with possibility and abundance.

I have a money back guarantee that if you are not totally satisfied with the results you get in our work together that work is free. No client has exercised this option with me.

I can be reached by going to my website @ www.darbybarclay.com or by emailing me @ darbybarclay@hotmail.com.

October 31, 2008 for SelfGrowth.comnn