Why Magical Relationship Beliefs Never Last

Magical relationship beliefs are a subtle challenge for the consciously awakened. Magical relationship beliefs are unrealistic, fantasy-based beliefs. Many of these beliefs are rooted in childhood while watching Prince Charming save and protect his beautiful, but un-empowered, princess. Magical Relationship Beliefs are based on false, dis-empowering beliefs such as… “When I find my soul mate then I’ll be happy,” and “When I have a perfect body then I’ll be happy.” Magical beliefs perpetuate the negative belief that…“When I get what I want then I’ll be happy.”

Happiness cannot be picked in someone else’s garden, even if you love and adore them. As a society, we reinforce the concept of magical beliefs with the “Knight-in-shining- armor, win-the-lottery, Hollywood’s-happy-ending” way of thinking. Your mind uses these media reinforced advertisements to model your magical relationship beliefs.

Magical relationship Beliefs are…“Positively charged negative beliefs.”

Most of my students have spent a lot of time studying the ways of the Universe. However, when it comes to transcending their “old-world relationship models,” they are usually very resistant because their magical beliefs are unconsciously anchored to positive stimuli. Magical Beliefs are romantic, safe “emotional harbors” that we create around unachievable, unrealistic relationship models and objectives.

Spiritual distinction meditation is a Self-mastery technique that will help you to separate relationship fantasies from reality. It will help you to clearly distinguish your “old-world relationship model” from your “new-world, reality-based relationship model.”

Magical relationship beliefs could be keeping you stuck in the past. Unconsciously, you may be waiting for “Prince (or Princess) Charming” to save and protect you or to make you happy. The spiritual truth is that the only person who can ever make you happy is you. That’s why learning how to unconditionally love and accept your Self is a grand accomplishment.

Magical beliefs negatively reinforce that…“We aren’t perfect the way we are.”

Most of my students (myself included) have felt the negative effects of magical relationship beliefs. They seduce you into believing that your power is exte
ally rooted in someone else. This belief keeps you stuck (anchored) in a dream for a Hollywood-type “happy ending.” It sets up an all-too-perfect unachievable relationship model, sadly proving the truism that …unrealized expectations lead to disappointment and depression.

When my students first own the fact that “Prince Charming isn’t coming,” it FEELS more like an emotional LOSS rather than a spiritual WIN. That’s because their magical relationship beliefs are positively charged negative beliefs.

Magical beliefs are modeled from a very romantic, but all-too-perfect, unrealistic, co-dependent fantasy. That’s why it’s hard to let go of them! Yet with persistent effort, you can patiently replace your rose-colored magical beliefs with reality-based beliefs. As you do this, you’ll feel the Self-empowerment that comes from knowing that you are already perfect the way you are.

Your MIND uses magical beliefs to emotionally escape (repress, minimize, deny, etc.) when your relationships trigger feelings that make you feel ignored, abandoned, frightened, abused, or misunderstood. Magical beliefs make you feel as if your safety and security are dependent upon another person. Magical beliefs create short-term imaginary gain through long-term real-world pain.

A spiritual relationship is a relationship in which two whole people come together as two inter-dependent beings, who create an environment that fosters emotional intimacy. I visualize this as two whole circles coming together forming the infinity symbol, as compared to the old-world model where two co-dependents come together for the purpose of procreation and survival. I visualize this as two half circles coming together to form one whole circle.

You have the power to transform your magical relationship beliefs into Self-mastery beliefs. This will help you to attract a spiritually based, consciously awakened, loving relationship; a relationship where you can feel safe, appreciated, and loved; a relationship created by equals for the purpose of spiritual growth; a relationship where you and your partner agree that nothing is more important than your spiritual growth; a relationship that creates a holistic environment where you can grow faster than you could if you were alone.

TODAY I BURY … SNOW WHITE AND CINDERELLA

A profound sadness settles over me. I am not depressed, not grieving, not anxious. I am just sad. I feel incredible sorrow over the way life turned out. I am reflective, not only about my life and my aloneness, but also about life in general. The birds aren’t chirping from treetops. Breezes aren’t blowing gently through the leaves. I’m not skipping stones across the brook. I sit and think. My sadness comes from the realization that my childhood myths have died. Snow White never awakened to Prince Charming’s kiss. Cinderella never made it to the ball. Princes and knights-in-shining-armor don’t exist. When real men and real women try to act out the fables, we fumble our lines, miss our cues, and dodge the curtain as it falls onstage. I miss the fairy tales. I wanted life to be good and simple and pure. To no avail, I tell myself that it is good that I am older and wiser. In coming-of-age stories, the protagonist sets off into some wilde
ess struggles with the dark side of life, and emerges mature. I feel as if I have come of age. Never again will I enter a relationship so naïvely. Never again will I assume all men are upright, honest, and strong. Never again will I give my heart away so easily. Maturity wipes away the fantasy of romantic love. I realize that my sadness is a turning point. Past incredulity, denial, anger, and blaming, I have arrived at a certain acceptance. I understand that I will move forward alone into a new world. I am ready to bury the old. I create a ritual. I dig a hole by the brook for two wooden figures – Snow White and Cinderella. Gently I place them in the dirt. I thank them for the promises they bestowed on me and millions of little girls. I forgive them for the promise unkept. I cover them with dirt and leaves. I mou
their passing. I mou
the passing of this stage of my life. My sadness will not be magically transformed into joy. That is another myth I bury today. My friends, uncomfortable with my sadness, try to cajole me into mirth. Not yet, I tell them. I need three days to grieve. I don’t fully know what my new legend will be. What I do know is that it will involve the hard work of self-discovery. To avoid scrubbing floors in the castle once more, I must seek out not a prince but myself. Then my drama can unfold. Today I grieve the myths that no longer serve me. I welcome my sadness as a step toward maturity.
AUTHOR UNKNOWN

Adapted from the book Self-mastery… A Journey Home To Your Self nby spiritual life coach Hu Dalconzo, Copyright © 2002