***You don’t get what you want; you get what you ask for

The following excerpt is taken from Chapter 4: Born and Made of the book Passion Pays: How to make a living from your passions… and change the world too, by Genevieve de Lacaze. The book features 30 men and women like you as real-life exemplars. Browse the Contents, read more excerpts or download for FREE the first 3 chapters at www.passionpaysbook.com When you give, you receive; it is a natural law of the Universe. Unfortunately, it is a law that is misunderstood by most people. Most people give with the expectation to receive from exactly the same source or in exactly the same “currency”, when in fact they have been receiving from other sources or in other ways. Everything is connected and your life is a whole made of different parts. You may donate to charity and receive a surprise gift from your partner. You may offer a surprise gift to your partner and receive a promotion. You may give a promotion and receive good news about your dog’s health. The underlying energy and intent when you give are crucial because consciously or subconsciously you are always asking the universe for something and it will give it to you, that’s a natural law. You want to be aware of what it is you are asking for because it may not be what you actually want. ******* One of my clients (we’ll call him Jim) came to me with the clear and definite goal of getting a promotion and earning more money. He strongly believed in his potential and was confident about deserving a higher-paid position. Yet, every time there was an opportunity for a promotion, Jim was disregarded. He just didn’t know what to do. ASKING FOR: promotion to earn more money Nothing wrong with that. But beware. To get his promotion, Jim gave a lot of his time and energy. He worked a lot on his own to prove his compe- tence and create results. He treated his colleagues with condescension and let his superiors take advantage of his inability to say no. UNDERLYING ENERGY AND INTENT: isolation, distance, low self-esteem, hostility, exasperation, submission RECEIVING: no social life, misery, stress, overwork, dislike, indifference, confusion, unfulfillment, little recognition, disrespect After a bit of time, when we explored his life, the whole of it rather than just his career, his emotions rather than his goals; it became clear that Jim was feeling “incompetent, ashamed and lonely”... in his personal life. He believed that money and the status of a promotion would change how he feels about himself and make his friends respect him and girls like him. WANT: competence, pride and bonding What Jim wanted, what he was asking for and his underlying energy and intent were completely misaligned. For competence, pride and bonding to come to his personal life, Jim need- ed to give much more time and energy to developing new relationships, deepening existing friendships and connecting with himself. With new-found self-awareness, Jim started to open up, going to parties, catching up with friends while still doing very well at his same job. He took up swim- ming again, which he loved as a child and took up salsa dancing, which he always thought about. Before he knew it, he started feeling really good about himself; and this transpired in his relationships in his personal life and his professional life. WANT: competence, pride and bonding ASKING FOR: competence, pride and bonding UNDERLYING ENERGY AND INTENT: connection, warmth, high self-esteem, enthusiasm, assertion RECEIVING: full social life, close friendships, joy, inner-peace, fulfillment, respect, healthy lifestyle, pride, competence, bonding. Once he made sure his underlying energy and intent were aligned with what he really wanted, he was naturally asking for what he wanted and receiving what he wanted. Jim got what money would not have bought him. He even forgot about getting a promotion and felt very happy at work. About 8 months after our coaching relationship, Jim wrote to me to say that he had been offered a job thanks to a friend he met at a salsa class. Although he hadn’t found a girlfriend yet, he was comfortable dating and his relationships with women were very healthy. ******* Each one of us is a unique combination of thoughts and emotions, and although it may seem counterintuitive, the way to a wealthy life may not be to earn a lot of money. As we have seen [in a previous chapter section], money may not bring you wealth. Money is a price tag; wealth is priceless. If you want wealth, don’t make money your primary target. What money cannot buy, you can work on from this second. Your results will be more than money and more than what money can buy.