Your Personal Growth and Success with Intimate Relationships Depends on Your Being True to Yourself

Are you a person who tells yourself stories in order to justify to yourself why things go one way and not another? Do you convince yourself that whatever happens in your life happens because of such and such reason, unwilling to look reality in the eye and acknowledge that after all, things are NOT the way you would like to believe they are?

If you are NOT such a person, you probably know others who are. It's always interesting to hear the stories people tell - trying to convince themselves and others - that these represent the "true” situation of their life. Here are two real-life examples:
THE THERAPIST

A therapist I once knew had no clients. When asked how come, he claimed to have adopted a “Buddhist” life-style, which doesn't require many possessions, money or clients. (As I got to know him a little bit better it became clear to me why nobody wanted him as a therapist...).
This is the story of the chicken and the egg, which came first: his decision to live ar
Buddhist life or not having clients drove him to his decision?
THE OVERWEIGHT WOMAN

A woman I knew hadn't had success developing intimate relationships. She "confessed” to me that this is the result of her being overweight (in her own words: “being too fat”). Therefore, she said, so nobody wanted her.

As a matter of fact, after having a series of failed attempts at cultivating intimate
relationships, in spite of having gone on one blind date after another, it was easy for her to “place the blame” on being fat. (And in order to “ensure” this was the case she found refuge in the refrigerator, becoming fatter with the day).

It was convenient for her to convince herself that being fat was the reason for having no intimate relationship. Otherwise, how could she justify to herself not having one?

What she “neglected” to realize was, that “some like them skinny, and some like them fat...”

JUSTIFICATIONS USED AS A DEFENCE MECHANISM
Both the therapist and the overweight woman - and many others like them - believed that the way they lived and behaved was a matter of CONSCIOUS CHOICE AND RATIONAL DEICISION.
As a matter of fact the opposite is true: their behavior and rationalization were a way to justify - as a defence mechanism - the situation they found themselves in.

We all use one defence mechanism or another in order to justify to ourselves being in a certain situation. As long as we are NOT willing to acknowledge and accept reality and find ways to change the things about ourselves which need change, we continuously sabotage ourselves (and our relationships).
BEING TRUE TO YOURSELF IS VITAL TO YOUR SELF-GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT

Being true to yourself is the key to looking reality straight in the eye, acknowledge
and accept “who you are” and how you manage your life and relationships, find ways to change whatever needs change and continue your journey to self-growth and development.