Dana McIntyre

Free

Daily Jou aling Expert

Dana McIntyre

Dana McIntyre Quick Facts

Main Areas
Blogging on preserving your memories
Career Focus
Speaker, Blogger
Affiliation
WOAMTEC

I am a busy mother of three kids (one of my own plus two step-kids), & wife to a hard working software programmer. I’m a triathlete, a cook who burns water, rookie blogger, obnoxious hockey mom, & CFO of my husbands paycheck. With one kid going off to college, one step-kid moving in permanently, plus camping, & training for the occasional triathlon, life around the McIntyre household always feels like a roller coaster ride

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Articles by this expert

SelfGrowth articles and saved writing connected to this expert.

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Is this really happening? I found myself standing in my son’s room today. Not in a creepy watching-him-as-he’s-sleeping kind of way. Just standing there, looking around at all of his posters tacked to the walls. I see the “Captain” stripes on his letter jacket gently strewn across the chair. Prom pictures of him and his girlfriend are stapled to the wall by his bed. But something is different: He is leaving for college.

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It’s been a month since my son, Matthew left for college. I had promised myself that I wouldn’t be a basket case and would not need a prescription for Xanax or several bottles of wine, although I purchased a few just in case. All summer I knew this day was coming but boy, it sure showed up faster tha I expected.

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I met my husband three years ago on Match.com. Many times when I tell people that they get this shocked look on their face as if to say “What were you thinking by dating on-line????” Well to be honest, it wasn’t my idea.

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Anyone who has been through a divorce can probably tell you the horror stories of how much money they spent just getting divorced. With my divorce, let’s just say that with the amount I spent I could have supported a large village in Africa for a year. At the time, I was willing to pay just about any amount of money to be divorced .

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Remember that old 80’s song with Rockwell and Michael Jackson that said "I always feel like…somebody’s watching me???" Well, if you are one of the millions of people currently going through a divorce, the feeling of someone watching you may ring a little too close for comfort.

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Just because your court date is over and your divorce/child custody case is final does not mean that you may never have to go back to court and fight another battle. You and/or your ex can file for amendments to your final decree at any time. Unfortunately, this may also mean more court costs and legal expenses.

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DIARY OF AN EX-SPOUSE

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A legal separation is different from a divorce because it does not put a legal end to the marriage. Different states have different laws in reference to what technically defines a legal separation. Some states require you to go to court and obtain a court order that outlines the rights and responsibilities of each spouse; while other states simply recognize a couple having a legal separation if they sleep in different rooms and abstains from being intimate. (Be sure to check with your state to determine the laws defining legal separation vs. divorce).

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Once upon a time, I was a happily married mother of a 5 year old son and wife to my very own Prince Charming. We lived in a little neighborhood in a cute three bedroom house that even had a picture perfect white picket fence. Unfortunately however, my Prince Charming turned out to be more like a frog than a Prince. We went through the usual steps of counseling, separation, anger, hurt and ultimately, as I’m sure many women have felt, I simply began wishing he would just get hit by a bus.

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Divorce is one of the hardest things a person can go through so it’s really easy to push the blame on someone else for why you are going through it in the first place. People always want to deliver a smart alec answer when they are asked why they got divorced – at least I did - especially if the divorce wasn’t their fault. A friend of mine divorced her husband because she found out he preferred batting for the other team. Now that was an entertaining story of how she found out that little tidbit of information.

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