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If you suspect or know your child has Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), counseling and/or coaching can be extremely helpful for you and your child. Please notice I said you and your child. YOU MUST be involved in this process. How you treat your child, how you react to them, the tone of voice you use, the words you say, how you nurture and support them is the most important thing you do for your child. Your child cannot change in your family system if you keep doing everything the way you have always done it.

Have you ever had dreams that startle you awake? You sit up alert wondering “Did this really happen? Is it going to”? Did you note a marked difference from the other dreams you have; the ones in which you seem to be dealing with things that have recently been on your mind? People ask how you know and what you do, when you have an out of ordinary dream experience. In upcoming blogs I will share some more extraordinary examples of psychic dreams and ordinary ones so you can compare. Hopefully these will act as reference guides.

Have you ever wondered how ‘that couple’ stayed together all those years? What is it they are doing right? What are the things that contribute to the success of healthy long term relationships? There are a few fundamental things that will improve the chances of a relationships success.

Let’s look at the opiates first. An opiate is a narcotic pain killer like Roxycodone, Oxycodone, Loratabs, Loracet, Methadone, Vicodin, Actiq, and Stadol. The action of these drugs may last varying amounts of time and has varying doses. For example, some people can be on 100mg a day of Oxycontin while others may take 1000mg a day of Oxycontin.

Some unfortunate people suffer from depression all their lives. There may be a sneaking suspicion it’s their fault in some way, which is not true. Lifelong (chronic) depression is an illness that can be as debilitating as heart disease, and if untreated can even be fatal. Chronic depression is caused by one or a combination of the following: Physical

Relationship is one of the most important key areas in our life. Almost everything we do involves a relationship – in our family life, in business dealings, at work, in the social circle, with friends and so forth. It is very essential for us to find out who all are the important people in ...

It’s the Holy Grail in the world of addiction to find drugs that will block the craving for alcohol. There are three medications on the market that have been studied and show some benefits. Pros and Cons of Drug Used for Alcohol Dependency or to Block Craving Campral, also known as Acamprosate, is used to block craving. Studies have found a reduced incidence of relapse with veterans in Philadelphia who took this drug. The daily dosage is two 333mg tablets, three times a day, and in my practice dealing with addiction and alcoholism, that has a limited benefit.

Have you ever met someone you recognize even though it is your first time meeting? There’s a cosmic chemistry, a sixth sense magnetism that seems to pull you towards one another. Is this person a soul mate or a karmic connection? Time usually tells. Are you still with this person? Does he or she still feel like your best friend and love mixed into one? Then simplistic as it sounds, I suspect you’ve found your soul mate.

Dr. Randi Fredricks, Ph.D., LMFT San Jose Counseling and Psychotherapyrn(408) 264-3082 Among complimentary and alte ative therapies for mental health, nutrition is by far the most popular and the most frequently studied. Food, dietary supplements and herbs interact biochemically with our physiology to create powerful effects on our mental health.

Research shows that the parenting style used on a child during the first 3 to 4 years of his life is the strongest factor that determines his level of self-esteem. Parenting style refers to how parents treat, guide, and nurture their young. It encompasses the messages that parents communicate to a child, verbally and non-verbally, about how lovable, worthy, capable, acceptable and important he is. From the time of infanthood to childhood, a child’s sense of self is defined

Let us consider the functional family as one that works. It works for everyone in the family, not just some of the people. It is not perfect, but it is good enough. It is good enough so that the people in the family feel loved, valued, recognized, and appreciated. In the functional, good enough family, safety is a priority. Parents ensure that they create and maintain an environment in which the family members are physically and emotionally safe. Physically, parents are attentive enough to their children that they are able to protect them from harm.

I have talked about getting people to listen, time outs and the rules of engagement. Today I am going to give you ten signs that the person you are talking to is flooded or overwhelmed and if they don’t calm down there may be trouble. They are at least not listening to you. Some of these you know but some may be new and give you an invaluable key to keeping your conversations productive. Remember you can not have a productive conversation with someone who is overwhelmed.

Identifying our automatic thinking usually changes the way we feel and puts us in a much more empowered position to make wise and meaningful decisions. Learning to observe your thoughts gives you the opportunity to recognize the emotional responses you are creating with your interpretation of what is going on.

When a child is born, he or she is instantly met with the challenge of discovering their own identity and role in the world. Immediately, a period of inquiry and experimentation begins – an attempt to discover how the planet works and how to survive upon its surface. As a child begins to explore this planet, and the life that is just beginning, many questions arise and “experiments” are conducted at a rapid pace. “What happens if I put my toe in my mouth?” “What happens if I cry?” “What happens if I close my eyes?

Do you have or know a highly intuitive child? When you look into their eyes it’s as if there’s an unspoken understanding between you, a psychic connection. I casually refer to these children as “old souls”. They just seem wiser than their years, and more tuned in to the sixth sense. I have written about my children who are now teenagers. Perhaps it’s not surprising to learn that they were very intuitive youngsters.

Wild Animals Know the Secret. Scientists have made a fascinating discovery about the way animals in the wild discharge anxiety and trauma. They are able to release the experience and move on. If they didn't do this and had to live in the wild in a shut down state, uptight or confused as their human counterparts, they would not survive long. Wild animals release their anxiety and trauma. Humans think about their trauma and hold on, becoming even more anxious, never realizing their body has a secret weapon to let it go.

By this time, most of us have probably attended at least one wedding this summer. I went to one last weekend, and my dear friends Lauri and Jeff, the co-owners of TherapyLinx.com, will be tying the knot in just a few weeks. That got me to thinking how these happy, glowing effervescent brides’ ...

The first step towards healing paranoia is to overcome (eliminate) the denial. If this is not accomplished you may be condemned to a lifetime of conflict, alienation and addiction to struggle. Everyone has paranoia to some degree. Acknowledging it puts you in a better position to conquer ...

Most people would agree that laughter is good for you in every possible way. Scientific research on laughter suggests that there are many exceptional benefits to a good sense of humor and a good laugh. The old expression, “laughter is the best medicine”, is not just a cliché, but has real ...

Probably the most important lesso I have learned in developing my intuition is to trust and act on “knowing without knowing why”. Most often this empathic connection; an acute feeling sense, happens between family members and close friends. But it can also happen with our pets. A few nights ago this happened when my daughter’s friend was hanging out. The four of us sat down to have dinner. One minute we were immersed in conversation and the next we were silenced. “Hold on a minute” my daughter’s friend said. “I think I hear my dog barking”.

I am always amazed at how two people can look at the same thing and see completely different things. Maybe it goes back to the glass half empty, glass half full concept. Or maybe it's has to do with how we choose to see things. Wayne Dyer frequently discusses the statement 'If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change'. He states that in order to change things we need to change the way we look at things.

The issue of dual relationships recently came up in an Advanced EMDR Workshop where I was talking about working with couples:r

In Memoriam: Alice Miller One of the great advocates of children and their struggles against unrecognized mistreatment has died. “Alice Miller, a psychoanalyst who repositioned the family as a locus of dysfunction with her theory that parental power and punishment lay at the root of nearly all human problems, died at her home in Provence on April 14. She was 87” (New York Times, April 26, 2010). “The author of a dozen books, Miller was best known for her first endeavor, 'The Drama of the Gifted Child and the Search for the True Self.' Published in the U.S.

All the world's a stage And all the men and women merely players, They have their exits and entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts, His acts being seven ages. At first the infant, Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms, Then, the whining schoolboy with his satchel And shining ...

Many couples face a point in their relationship when the feelings of boredom and monotony begin to set in. The couple begins to feel like they’ve lost the spice and spontaneity that once came so easily. Now they have to work for that same excitement which tends to make things seem tedious and stale. This dilemma particularly takes place in the bedroom. Sex has turned into the same thing day in and day out.

We all have Spirit Guides and/or Guardian Angels that are available to assist us in our daily lives. Spirit Guides and Guardian Angels are considered synonymous by some and different by others. Those who see them as different believe that Spirit Guides have been in body before and have had experiences similar to what we are expected to go through. On the other hand, Guardian Angels have never had a physical body. Deceased loved ones can also act as our guides for a period of time.

Although Jainism is one of the smallest organized religions, it has the most pervasive practice of fasting. In Jainism, the women, in particular, partake in frequent fasts, often for long periods. In a similar fashion as Hinduism, fasting is performed in Jainism in conjunction with lunar cycles. Prior to undertaking a fast, the participant makes a vow, considered a formal statement of intent.

An emotionally sensitive child needs to be seen and heard. It is the feeling of being alone and abandoned that creates in a child a heightened sensitivity to often painful emotions such as sadness and fear. The world feels like a very scary and lonely place for a child who is not secure in feeling attached to people who love and care for them. These children need empathic listening and communication that assures them that they are loved and that their feelings are valid. It can be very difficult for a parent to see a child in an emotionally sensitive state.

I have been asked how I am able to intuit accurate, specific information, consistently. Please know that I have worked for years to hone my intuition. It takes determination, time,and practice, to acquire any new set of skills, including intuitive ones, to make them second nature. Decide what ...

What happens when we decide to be partners and build family with someone, and after a few months or years the rosy glow of our idealism wears off and it seems to become so much more difficult than we imagined? Why do we find ourselves arguing, feeling jealous, greedy, and uncooperative? It seems if the other person would just do it our way, and stop being so unreasonable, things would work out great!r

What is Bipolar Disorder? Bipolar is a disease state where the client moves back and forth from depression to mania. Depression is characterized by loss of interest in things that they used to find pleasure in, loss or gain of appetite, typically not wanting to get out of bed for prolonged periods of time, and sometimes suicidal thoughts or actions. Mania is characterized by racing thoughts, pressured speech, decreased need for sleep, spending sprees, road rage, driving fast, promiscuous sex, risk taking behaviors, drug abuse, alcohol abuse.

The first phase of CBT Counselling is determining what it is that you want to achieve. This not only increases your chances of a successful outcome but will motivate you to continue working toward this and help you to measure your progress along the way. 1. The Miracle questionr

Eddie was first diagnosed with major depression at the age of 15. The roots of his depression were multiple. He grew up with two parents who neglected him emotionally. His mother only spoke Spanish, while Eddie only spoke English. This created a huge communication gap between the two of them. Eddie’s father was also away most of the time for work. Additionally, Eddie’s parents were legally married, but barely spoke to each other. Eddie was left to raise himself in a home that was very isolative.

In the second article of a four-part series, you'll see the progression of bipolar II through the story of Wendy, a teenager who grappled with the disorder. We'll also discuss the major symptoms of bipolar II -- depression and hypomania.

In Memoriam: Alice Miller (continued - see Part I for introduction) Alice Miller. For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence. New York: Farrar, Straus, Giroux. 1983.

Why Do We Need Time-Outs? When your heart rate gets above about 100 beats per minute we as humans loose the capacity to think rationally with some exceptions: Athletes, soldiers, doctors, police, firefighters and the like are trained to handle situations where they have to function in high stress situations, but they train and train and train some more so that they are programmed to perform their functions even under extreme stress – everyone will switch to fight or flight depending on the level of stress and even trained professionals trained for crisis on the job can have it happen in s

Are you so stressed out at work that you do not even have time to think about relaxing? Are the demands at work building up fast and causing you to feel overwhelmed? Are you so busy you do not have time to learn a new stress management strategy? Here are three quick, easy and very effective relaxation exercises that can lower your blood pressure, help you “cool off,” remember what it’s like to feel calm again, and get your focus and attention back.

It is not easy to have bipolar disorder, nor is it easy to be a caregiver, family member, or friend of someone who is. “Bipolar relationships” are difficult because the symptoms are so changeable. Your friend or loved one can be flying high today with mania only to dive into the pit of despair tomorrow. Since you can’t fix their diagnosis, what can you do that will help?

THE DOs AND DON’Ts OF HANDLING TANTRUMS • DO keep your cool. Kids are very good at sensing your feelings. The more frustrated you feel, the more frustrated your child will become. Take control of the situation, and your child will feel more safe and secure. • DO be empathic. Try and have some understanding of the difficulty of not being able to do or have something. Everyone has had such moments. • Do NOT punish.

I often describe Andropause or Male Menopause as adolescence the second time around or as puberty in reverse.

There are mental health, relationship issues and emotional problems that are beyond or at least at the edge of behavioral control. People are not trying to be depressed or crazy – they act that way because of complex brain, hormone, environment, and background issues. There are times when medications are not required where therapy alone or coaching or exercise and diet at all that are required to return a person to normal – whatever that is. I firmly believe that if you think someone is normal you just don’t know them well enough. There are also situations that require medication.

Couples counselling can be an eye opening experience for both parties involved. Rather than the usual finger pointing that goes on during fights at home or in the car, sitting down with a therapist helps you gain the insight of your spouse or significant other. Once you’ve seen yourself through the eyes of your loved one (and vice versa) you’ll both be on a path to better understanding each other and therefore, working through the problems that plague your marriage. However, what happens when you can’t convince your partner to attend therapy with you?

Who doesn’t love Fall? As soon as we feel the chill in the air and smell the unmistakable scent of burning leaves, we know that pumpkin carving, football games, and holidays are right around the corner. Still, in the middle of all of the fun times with family and friends, fall does have its down side for some of us. Seasonal Affective Disorder, or S.A.D., begins its onset around this time of year for millions of Americans. Rianna Wilson, who schedules counseling appointment

Part I : How Do Past and Parallel Lives Influence Current Life Workshop Excerpted from Soul Talk: Rescripting Karmic Contracts, 2008, Adele Tartaglia

Panic disorder affects between 3 and 6 millio Americans, and is twice as common in women. We all experience panic at some time in our lives, but those suffering from panic disorder experience panic attacks on a daily basis, and this form of anxiety can severely reduce the quality of life, making even simple activities like grocery shopping unmanageable. In its most severe form this crippling form of anxiety can lead to agoraphobia, a very intense fear of going beyond the safety zone of one’s own home. In such severe cases, it is wise to seek medical help.

I define an abuser as one who uses the power of words or physical prowess as a means of manipulating and controlling others. Generally, the perpetrator chooses to forego any interventions such as counseling or psychiatric assistance. However, he/she may grudgingly consent to couples counseling when a partner provides an ultimatum. The abuser may be mandated by the court to seek anger management treatment and will attend reluctantly. The abuser generally has minimal insight into the significance of his problem.

I have been working with energy healing for almost ten years. I use a variety of therapies, including Reiki, energy formulas, essential oils, and bio-energetic frequencies. I've had a lot of success in using any of these processes, both in person, and remotely. When you provide energy and remove toxins, generally the body will respond favorably, and begin healing itself. By lessening the impact of environmental toxins on the immune system, we allow the body to focus on self-h

“We have been put on this earth to discover our own path, and we will never be happy if we live someone else’s idea of life.”rn~James Van Praagh

It is always exciting to see how current brain research and brain imaging techniques prove why psychological and spiritual techniques work in our lives. It turns out that our brains don’t really know the difference between whether something is actually happening in our lives or whether we are only imagining it in our minds. When athletes are hooked up to brain monitoring equipment and asked to imagine they are performing their sport, their brainwaves fire the same as if they were actually doing their sport.

The Place of Compassion If you think of disapproval and approval of people as two opposite ends of a continuum, where would you put compassion? It's a trick question. Compassion doesn't even belong on that continuum. Compassion is something wholly different. You will automatically tend to sit in judgment on whatever you disapprove of. "That's wrong." "That's inappropriate." "That's ridiculous." Even saying these words out loud probably makes you feel a little bit negative, and you can feel in that negativity the seeds of judgment.

Definition: voice of your spirit and to our spiritual guidance. It is your navigational system to guide you through your life. Following your intuition, you find it easier to align with your true path. Things get rocky when you are not following your intuition. Your self-worth, self-trust, how you feel about yourself will really sky-rocket because you are listening to yourself. It allows you to live in faith rather than fear.

Rabbi Harold Kushner, the author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People, wrote about his response to personal tragedy. His son Aaron had premature aging, and eventually died from this disease. The pain from the Rabbi’s loss provoked a crisis of faith. Kushner wrote his book for those "who have been hurt by life," to assist them in finding a faith that provides reasonable answers to aid them in coping with their suffering.

One of the features of the “modern relationship” is financial separation, although the couple is married, each of them is earning and spending his own money separately, without consulting the other, without sharing the money or managing it together.

Many of us hear the word stress all the time but often ignore the signs and symptoms in ourselves which can have a debilitating effect on our health, with our relationships, in our occupation, and in general. There are many things in life that can either “cause” or influence the level of stress in a person such as our job, our relationship, finances, and our own traits/attitudes.

As we have been exploring how to help clients stay resourced over the holidays, it is also important, as therapists, to stay resourced also. It is easy in this profession to forget about one’s own needs but still expect our client’s to maintain theirs. Listening and working with client’s issues and traumas all day long, can take a toll on one’s own psyche... emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically.

The holidays are coming up and there will be even more opportunities to volunteer. We all know that volunteering is a way to help others and pay it forward; however it’s a way to help yourself too. Think about it…. Volunteering is a low fear-inducing way to reduce social anxiety and depression.

Many people have asked about the various animals that appear on my website, wondering if they have special meaning. Yes, I chose each animal specifically to represent the sentiment of each web page. If you haven't seen my website here is the link; www.of2minds,.com I often refer to these as my ...

Your Psychologist will offer you weekly (50 minute). Your treatment will begin with a period of assessment which will last between 1-3 sessions. Here you will be able to discuss in detail the problems that have led you to seek therapy. Your Psychologist will also ask you more general questions about your family, work and home life in order to build a complete picture of you and how and why your problems have developed and persisted.

It's never about the other person....there's no one doing it to us....every things an inside job. No matter what we are experiencing, no matter how it appears to be someone else’s fault, someone else’s personality defect, someone else’s manipulation or lie, it isn’t. Everything in our lives sources from the content in our own multi-leveled mind and can only be changed by changing the consciousness that created it.

As a life coach, a questio I'm often being asked is "How do you distinguish your intuition from your mind? Is it possible your intuition can mislead you or be harmful to you with what it tells you?" My answer to this question is this: Your intuition, or gut feelings are there to protect you, ...

Most of us probably do not realize that when we meditate or fast for a spiritual reason we are partaking in asceticism, one of the oldest known spiritual disciplines. Asceticism is the practice of rigorous self-denial and active self-restraint performed as a spiritual discipline. The origins of asceticism are traced to prehistory, to primitive and archaic society.

Have you ever tried to tell someone something that you knew they would be hurt by or take the wrong way? Of course you have, and so have I. Being misunderstood is a common pariah. We all hate it and yet we often can’t finish a sentence without the other person: falling apart, or jumping in, or getting defensive, or even running away. How do you get someone to actually hear what you have to say? In a previous article, “How to Say Anything to Anyone”, I disclosed the secret of showing conce for the person you are speaking to and had having compassion for them.

The term depression is often used to describe when someone is feeling 'low', 'miserable', 'in a mood', or having 'got out of bed the wrong side'. In addition to feeling low most or all of the time, many other symptoms can occur in depressive illness (though not everybody has every one). These include: • losing interest in normal activities, hobbies and everyday life • feeling tired all of the time and having no energy • difficulty sleeping or waking early in the morning

In the third article of a four-part series, we'll continue to follow Wendy's story and discuss the difficulty of diagnosing bipolar II disorder.

Initially the attraction is euphoria taking a mini vacation. Someone once told me getting high is like God putting a warm blanket around you and rubbing your temples telling you everything will be alright. This is a powerful draw. The mini vacation to escape life’s hardships becomes more frequent and all encompassing. Physically the body comes addicted. Psychologically the individual needs the drug to maintain emotional stability and to cope with life’s stress. Individuals with addicted family members are at an unfair disadvantage.

April Fools' Day is a day marked by the carrying out of practical jokes of varying degree on friends, enemies, colleagues, and neighbors. While most April Fools' Day pranks are taken in stride, there will always be some that elicit very strong emotional reactions. Feelings of shame and embarrassment can in some cases lead to explosive outbursts of anger. So what can you do to avoid coming unglued as the result of an embarrassing April Fools' Day prank?

I want to share two stories to help those with drug problems -- or those with loved ones who have drug problems -- see how addiction works and how it can be overcome. My clients, Belle and Bob, were both addicts. Belle managed to dig herself out. Bob did not. At the most basic level, these two people had bad relationships with themselves. It really all comes down to that. Improve your relationship with yourself and you can get better. Continue to hate yourself, and the ending can be very bad. Belle’s Story

The opportunity to enjoy sex is one of the great things about being gay. Some people say that being gay means they feel less restricted and more free sexually in terms of what they can do with their bodies, with who and when. But many people struggle with feelings of guilt, shame and fear associated with being told gay sex is not 'normal' or 'natural' or 'right' in some way. Enjoying Sex. These ideas that certain types of sex are 'not normal', 'unnatural' or 'wrong' are a result of fear and prejudice.

As you proceed to go right on judging the loved one in your life, and labeling them, you forget you did attract them in and many of them by agreement, for a higher purpose. Maybe them being exactly as they are, and you being who you are in this moment of time, is your gift to yourself and their tacit gift to you. Maybe the arrangement stops allowing you to be the “less then” real self you are. They could be there to offer you the reward of change by triggering you to stop and think about who you’re being and what you’re doing. And you are doing the same for them of course.

Agoraphobics and those with social anxiety and shyness issues are often searching for more self-help tools and strategies to help them better manage their anxiety. Often, they are highly motivated to overcome their anxiety, but are afraid of venturing out of their safe zone. Online counselling and therapy provides a convenient and effective solution.

The question comes up often: what is trauma? Most therapists recognize trauma from the DSM-V definition:

Many of us have been conditioned to control, ignore or dismiss our emotions rather than use them as a source of valuable information. This leads to what is known as “bucket dumping”. We accumulate our feeling responses inside of us and when full, we dump it on whatever situation or person that happens to add the final drop into the bucket.

Part II What Can Past Life Regression Do for Us? The emotional reactions associated with past life events which are most often seen in therapy, involve emotional residues of the fear based emotions such as anger, resentment, revenge, fear, guilt, remorse; and distortions of love manifesting as jealousy, possessiveness, even violence.

Are you feeling run down? Is it difficult to leave your clients’ problems at the office? Are you often anxious and stressed due to your work? As empathic therapists, we cannot help but be affected by our clients’ tumultuous lives and mental illness; therapists can be bombarded by negative, even painful, energy on a daily basis. We work as hard as we can to care for our patients, but how many of us put in the same energy when it comes to caring for ourselves? Self-care is esse

In the final part of this series, we continue with Wendy's story and discuss the positive coping skills that can help people with bipolar II lead successful lives. We have come a long way in terms of treatment for bipolar conditions, and many people benefit from a combination of therapy and medication. Nevertheless, more research is needed in determining how people can manage this challenging illness. Here are several important skills that can help teenagers, and adults, with bipolar disorder:

Dr. Randi Fredricks, Ph.D., LMFT San Jose Counseling and Psychotherapyrn(408) 264-3082

Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) first came to the attention of doctors during the First World War when relatively large numbers of soldiers returned from combat exhibiting intense emotional distress in which they seemed to re-live the terrifying events of war long after the event. However, war is only one context in which PTSD arises. Later, it became clear that this phenomenon of delayed emotional reactivity could result from many other contexts such as accidents and illness, physical assault, rape or witnessing acts of violence and devastation, natural or man-made.

Often we think about creating our lives in terms of what we wish for ourselves. We can also create the world we want by thinking globally. I'd like to illustrate. Over a decade ago my good friend Jennifer went through a divorce. Before moving to a new home, Jen called a piano retailer and registered her piano to be sold on consignment. Within a couple months, Jen received a hefty check from the piano retailer for the sale of her ivories. She used the "piano money" to furnish her new place. A few years went by. Jennifer received a check in the mail for the sale of her piano. Huh?

1. Is he reliable? Does he call when he says he will? Do his actions match his words? Remember that “talk is cheap” and that actions speak louder than words. A decent, reliable man will show congruence between what he says and what he does. If you are important he will want to make a good impression! 2. How consistent is he? Does he contradict himself? If you find him saying one thing and then changing his mind often or expressing opposing ideas/opinions regularly – be aware. This can be a sign of a fickle personality or of someone who does not know himself well.

In the first article of a four-part series, we will discuss the different types of bipolar disorder. What Is Bipolar Disorder? In general, bipolar disorder is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood, energy and activity levels. Bipolar disorder is multidimensional in nature and is highly influenced by environmental stressors, and because of this, experts are now considering bipolar I, bipolar II, and cyclothymia as the "bipolar spectrum." Here are definitions of the different types: