Are You Running Away from Your Dream?

I am in the process of writing a book. It’s a different kind of book than the Soulful Jou
als that my husband, Dan, and I have written. It’s a full-length book about pushing through fear to live the life of our dreams. It really gets to the heart of who I am – my soul has begun to emerge throughout the journey of writing it. This has been both a great experience and a real learning lesson at the same time.

It has given me the chance to see up close and personal how many roadblocks I subconsciously create to protect myself from having to experience this realness, this rawness, this sometimes painful journey of going within and sharing with each of you what this process has been like of learning to live again after putting my life on hold for so many years.

This process of writing has taken me to the very place that I have been covering up and avoiding for almost my entire life. The places that I really haven’t wanted to explore until now. The places that I know I must begin to explore if I am truly going to start fresh and live my ideal life.

And because this has been a painful process in many ways, it makes perfect sense that I would place walls and blocks along the path toward self discovery – and boy, have I been tripping over them and stumbling along the entire time.

My latest realization of self sabotage came over the weekend. I had a wonderful phone call with a friend who offered me an amazing opportunity. If I agreed to it, it would mean that when my book came out, I would immediately be able to share it with a huge audience. Wow – of course I accepted! (More details about this later – I definitely can’t wait to spill the beans as this progresses.)

But…soon after I hung up the phone, I began to question everything. A situation came up that caused me to question my faith in this book, my life, my path, my existence…absolutely everything. And I was devastated. (I write about this in my book – so you’ll know what I’m talking about soon enough.) I was ready to scrap the entire book and move on to something else.

A loving chat with a dear friend helped me realize that I was yet again sabotaging myself. My ego loves to be the first one to pull me away from troubling and painful feelings. So it swooped in and led me away from this project altogether – blaming this situation instead of calling it what it really was: self sabotage and fear.

This isn’t the first time I have run the opposite direction from writing this book. And yet, by being conscious of this pattern of self sabotage, I thankfully am able to continue coming back to it.

I heard a great quote the other day:

Change doesn’t happen in your comfort zone.

Isn’t that the truth.

If I am truly going to change and evolve into writing this book – I am going to have to change my patterns and continue taking risks to be truly authentic, raw, and vulnerable. I am going to need to have faith in myself and the universe that this is exactly what I am meant to be doing right now. And when I feel like running in the opposite direction of the keyboard, that will be my cue that what I really need to do in that moment is sit down and write.

Sometimes reaching for our dreams can be scary.
And it’s completely normal to want to run away from them – or push them aside and continue living your comfortable life. And in these moments of fear, you have a choice to make. If you truly want to change and begin living the life you know you were born to live – you are going to have to stretch, grow, and possibly face some challenging moments.

And, if you accept this challenge, you will feel so great about yourself! You will be able to reach your dream and can see how far you have gone – how much progress you have made. You will always be able to say that you did it – you faced your fears and are living your dream because of it. And isn’t that worth going through the pain for? I think so, which is why I will keep on writing.